Kurt Braunohler and Albertina Rizzo
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Long-Distance Lovers
“Why let distance tear us apart when our crippling insecurities can take care of that?”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Two for One
Make sure she gets the hint and leaves her toothbrush where it belongs: at home.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Family Vacation
Meeting someone’s family is like inspecting their butthole—kind of awkward, but also the fastest way to know where their shit comes from.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Boinking and Bunking
In love with your roommate? Watching her while she sleeps is a nice, non-creepy way to say, “Hey, I care about you.”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Neverending Weed
“If you think about it, my penis is kinda like a bong, but please don’t light my balls on fire like last time.”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Stay Together Forever
Just like a real marathon, you need to rub some Vaseline on your nipples and be prepared to diarrhea all over the finish line.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Age Differences
“You really remind me of my mom. Which is not creepy! I breast-fed until I was five."
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Wandering Profile
Let her know that she can’t just play with you. Drop a bone at her feet and yell, “I’m not your dog!” then piss on vagina to mark your territory.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Unforgettable
You need a brand for yourself that people will remember! Try giving yourself a tagline like, “Brian Simpson: Blastin’ Quads and Blowin’ Wads.”
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Parlez-Vous Romance?
Want to attract a foreigner on the street? Ask them for directions on a map of Florida. It might be confusing, but it’ll let them know you’re easily lost and like things shaped like a dick.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Coy Attraction
Look yourself in the mirror and say, “God made flirts and flirts don’t squirt!” then slap yourself across the face.
Hot Dog and the Lady Bun - Together Too Long
Spice things up! Try this: “I’ve hired a clown to watch us make love."