ONES + ZEROS: The Week of Charlie Sheen

This was a week owned by Charlie Sheen. Not even a surprise appearance by famed Apple dude, Steve Jobs could divert scant rays of limelight in the direction of actual relevance. In this world, there is no greater entertainment than the utter derailment of over-inflated celebrity — especially when they involve “refreshingly honest” monologues about hookers and blow.

• Drinking, smoking, and using your cellphone have long been determined to be spectacularly hazardous to everyone’s safety while driving, worries though clearly left for neo-luddites. The thought of compromising such pivotal life functions has clearly spurred on the technologists who now look to address the real problem: driving. With thoughts or completely thought-less.

• The iPad 2 announcement provided nothing unexpected but for many, it was great to see Apple’s charismatic leader back on stage sensationalizing sexy gadgets. The guy looked good and we wish him the best.

• Young gamers these days have it easy these days. Untangling mountainous piles of cords and vigorously blowing into dusty cartridges were part and parcel of the gaming experience, our equivalent of the 10 mile walk to school uphill both ways. This 8-bit breathalyzer game is an ode to the good ol’ times and perfect for getting your geek-fix.

• New York City lost a city landmark last week with the closing of the Chinatown Fair. RIP and keep us posted on that alleged Williamsburg spot.

• It’s time everyone learned about zombie ants. You’ve been warned.

• So Facebook is selling your information to advertisers. Here’s the pressing question: who still posts their phone number on Facebook?

• Brooklyn hipsters have taken the “eat local” movement too far with this new emerging trend: human cheese.