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Tech

Silk Road Trial: Here Is Ross Ulbricht's OKCupid Profile

Ross Ulbricht, who was looking for "great startup ideas," sounds totally dateable.
​Image: Ross Ulbricht's OKC

​If you are looking for a guy who is good at solving problems, maintaining an infectious happiness despite his circumstances, and is possibly going to prison for life for running the ​world's largest internet drug ring, we've found the perfect person for you.

Alleged Silk Road founder ​Ross Ulbricht's OKCupid profile was revealed by federal prosecutors today, not because he's much more "drug friendly" than the average OKC user or because he "spends a lot of time thinking about markets and the future," but because it can be used to tie the contents of an incriminating journal found on his computer to him.

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I'm going to call him Ross in this article, because when discussing matters of the heart, a last name just feels a bit too impersonal.

Ross and his lawyer have tried to argue that the electronic journal found on his computer was planted there by some nefarious third party. ​But the entries in his journal, which mentioned his OKC profile and some dates he went on, line up perfectly with emails he sent.

A journal entry from 9/11/13 said that he got poison oak from getting trash out of a tree (what an environmentalist!) and also said "went on OKC date with Amalia." The prosecution argued that corresponds with an email sent through OKC on 9/18, from Amalia: "see you tonight, I'm wearing a khaki shirt." Then came an email from Ross to his ex-girlfriend, Julia—subject line ":("—"I have a poison oak rash from head to toe. I wish you were here to comfort me."

So, this actually is relevant stuff. What else is in the profile? As far as online dating profiles go, his is one of the less cringeworthy ones I've seen. There's nothing obviously creepy in it, not that you'd expect there to be—I'm just saying that many dating profiles cause me to suffer from an acute case of secondhand embarrassment. Also I'm saying that his profile makes me kind of want to date Ross, or at least be friends with him. For the record, we are a 59 percent match and 4 percent enemies.

There are photos of him doing flips on a wakeboard and off a boulder, smoking a pipe (are pipes cool?), and hanging out with an overly cute puppy. Back in September of 2013, Ross said he was a "scientist turned entrepreneur."

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"Now, I am an independent investor and plotting my next venture," he wrote. "So, if you have any great startup ideas, let me know!"

He allegedly found one.

According to OKC's personality profile analysis, Ross is "more optimistic, more organized, and more drug-friendly" than the average straight man his age. Also, he thinks doing drugs with a girl is a potentially romantic activity, but doesn't want to put up with any drug-related drama.

"There is lots of behavior common to drug users I wouldn't tolerate, but if you can keep your shit together then I don't care what you put in your body," he wrote. He says he's never been to jail.

Ross is unlikely to be able to date for a while because he has his hands a bit full at the moment, but OKC has conveniently pulled out a few bros who are very similar to him in personality, though I'd bet that their (alleged!) extracurricular activities differ.