The Vibrator of the Future Won’t Vibrate
Je Joue's SaSi vibrator. GIF: Lux Alptraum/Je Joue YouTube

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The Vibrator of the Future Won’t Vibrate

What’s the best way to make a woman orgasm? Maybe not a vibe.

In some ways, the rise of the vibrator is almost an accident of fate. A device designed for doctors tired of providing "manual relief" to (read: jerking off) ladies supposedly suffering from hysteria, vibrators didn't become popular because they were scientifically determined to be the best possible way to bring a woman to orgasm. They took off because they were available, they worked, and that was all anyone needed.

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Companies are breaking away from the traditional vibratory format and exploring other forms of sexual stimulation

Even as masturbatory products began to move out of the shadows, becoming products explicitly designed for sex (rather than, say, "back massage"), manufacturers have stuck with vibration as the primary mode of stimulation because, well, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Based on conversations with sex toy manufacturers, it's become clear to me that sex toys aren't a profitable enough enterprise for extensive R&D to actually make sense, so most companies prefer to make subtle improvements to the existing format rather than come up with something entirely new.

But as the market becomes increasingly crowded, the old "just like that toy you like, but slightly different!" pitch is a much harder sell. And as a result, more and more companies are breaking away from the traditional vibratory format and exploring other forms of sexual stimulation. It remains to be seen whether any of these products end up supplanting the vibrator. Old habits die hard, especially when those habits happen to be masturbatory, but here's an overview of some of the different ways you might be getting yourself off in the coming years:

Pressure-Based Toys: Back in 2008, a European company known as Je Joue released the SaSi, a vibrator so different that Babeland founder Claire Cavanah called it "the most innovative vibrator" she'd seen in Babeland's 15 years of business. What made the SaSi so different? In addition to vibration, the toy had a small nub on the underside that could move back and forth (or side to side or up and down or in circles), mimicking the sensation created by, say, a finger or tongue gently stroking the clit.

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Sadly, the SaSi was a bit before its time and was burdened by an interface that was way too complicated for most users. After just a few years on the market, Je Joue stop selling the item, as did most retailers (though this company still offers it if you're curious to check it out). But its innovation lives on in the LELO Ora, a simplified version of the same concept. With any luck it'll find its way into other offerings (especially since supporting LELO's gotten a lot less appealing ever since they brought Charlie Sheen on board as a condom spokesperson).

Suction-Based Toys: Suction-based toys have been around for awhile, often labeled as "clit pumps" or "pussy pumps" and marketed towards a fetish crowd looking to enlarge and increase sensitivity in the clit and vulva. But it's only been recently that the mechanism has made its way to more mainstream products, with products like the Womanizer and Fiera offering clitoral suction instead of (or in addition to) the classic vibration.

Given that sucking on someone's bits has long been accepted as a hot oral sex move, it's actually somewhat surprising that suction-based toys have taken so long to find favor with a mainstream audience. But hopefully the girly packaging of the Fiera and Womanizer (which, it should be noted, advertises that it has "Swarovski elements") will help turn a favorite of the fetish crowd into a universally embraced form of sexual stimulation.

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Thrusting Toys: Can a sex toy ever truly replicate the feeling of getting fucked? If you're talking about the deep, emotional connection of being intimately bonded with another person, then absolutely not. But if you're talking about the physical sensation of a hard object thrusting in and out of your orifices… then probably?

Over the years, a couple of different companies have attempted to recreate the sensation of fucking; most notably, high-powered fucking machines like the Sybian. But since most of us don't have the budget (or the storage space) for a Sybian-like device, it's been hard to imagine a fucking machine ever moving into the mainstream. But Fun Factory has come up with more budget-minded options that rely on back and forth motion rather than standard vibration.

The Fun Factory Stronic line uses magnets to move its toys back and forth (and back and forth). Though it's not quite the same as a Sybian, the products are still a boon to anyone who's more about the old in and out than a more generalized rumble or buzz.

Electrostim Toys: Electrostimulation may seem far, far too fetishy to ever make it into the mainstream, but at least two companies—including Jimmyjane, best known for making luxury sex toys a going concern—have products that combine electric shock with vibrational awe. Jimmyjane's offering is the Hello Touch X, a finger vibrator with added bite. There's also the Electric Eric, a non-threatening looking vibrator with an e-stim mode.

The stigma of electrocution might be too much to overcome for many mainstream users, but these products are certainly offering a different sort of sensation than the standard vibrator.

Flipper-Based Toys: And then there are toys like the Sqweel, which offers users a rotating wheel of "tongues" that "lick" the clitoris (or vulva, or whatever) in quick succession. I've never been impressed by this sort of mechanism (the flippers tend to slow down, or even stop, when pressed into the body, meaning if you're super turned on you might end up turning off your toy), but it's definitely different. Hey, maybe a budding sex toy entrepreneur will figure out a way to take the concept and improve upon it.

Granted, as promising as many of these products are, it'll take a lot to upend the sheer market dominance of the vibrator. But on the plus side, if vibration's never quite been your bag, at least you've got a more options to check out in the sex toy space.