A Complete Guide to the Things the NSA Has Not Yet Hacked

In light of the most recent NSA revelations—a new Washington Post report just revealed the agency can tap into Yahoo! and Google's data servers and access any data we transmit on the cloud—you'd be forgiven for just giving up. They've got access to our phone logs, our email correspondences, and, now, any information we saved online. What else even is there, at this point?

Plenty. Here is a complete guide to everything the NSA has not yet hacked:

-the things you've whispered to pets

-the Dalai Lama's gentle sensibility

-that panicked thought you have on public transportation when you wonder if anyone else knows it was you

-Jupiter's stormy red center

-Al Roker's infectious laugh

-that achingly confessional note you started writing to the girl who sat in front of you in junior high Spanish but instead left half-crumpled in the pocket of your cargo shorts

-anything conveyed in the universal language of modern dance

-their own documents, which are now selling them down the river.