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Tech

Struggling To Survive in the 21st Century, the Postal Service Kicks Out Electronics?

"Neither snow nor rain nor Kindle fire nor plume of iPad smoke stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" Despite its declining first-class mail volume, fresh legislative mandates to pre-pay its retirees, and a 3....

“Neither snow nor rain nor Kindle fire nor plume of iPad smoke stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”

Despite its declining first-class mail volume, fresh legislative mandates to pre-pay its retirees, and a 3.2 billion dollar loss in its second quarter, the United States Postal Service has just steepened the incline it faces in trying to financially recover anytime soon. The national mail service has announced that while it won’t shut rural post offices, as originally planned, it will cease shipment of lithium-ion batteries internationally come May 16th. This prohibition means no more international smartphones and tablets, which mostly contain non-removable batteries. The long list includes other ordinary electronics that ship with components that have caused at least 121 incidents since 1991, and are speculated to have fatally brought down two planes since 2006. Constitutionally, it all makes sense: "The postal powers of Congress embrace all measures necessary to insure the safe and speedy transit and prompt delivery of the mails."

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The prohibition may seem harsh to the widespread touchscreen generation, but not to worry: angry bloggers say they will simply divert their business to FedEx and UPS, likely forcing the Postal Service to rethink their ban. Remember that expat friend from Saudi Arabia who told you he could make an easy 300 to 500 dollars for buying an iPhone at the Apple Store in New York and sending it home to his brother in Riyadh? Try 200 to 400 dollars, pal. Bootleggers and price gougers like him are soon to become disenchanted by lower profits as they are forced to turn toward commercial shippers. Could Apple possibly stand to see increased international revenues?

More enraged are the spouses and families of armed service members overseas. Those obligatory Facebook petitions have already popped up, urging fellow troop supporters to join in appealing the ban. The linked petition has received 17 likes since the Postal Service reported its policy change. Steve, the group’s admin explains, "While in some instances they could use their local, ‘in country’ address to receive the item via FedEx/UPS/DHL, they would then be subject to paying duty to the import country. When shipped via the Postal Service to an APO/FPO address they do not have to pay duty on any package."

The Postal Service has other strategies to save their bottom line, with plans this summer to scale down the 6-8 typical operating hours of 13,000 rural offices to a mere 2-4 hours. Additionally, piloting of a new product has begun in northern Virginia. Enter GoPost, a parcel locker that allows for, “today’s on-the-go lifestyle.” These giant PO Boxes are described as, "The next great innovation from the U.S. Postal Service. It's based on a simple, yet novel idea: Why wait for your package when your package can wait for you?"

Yippee! An exciting new way to reel consumers back toward the epitome of obsolescence — 24-hour cubbyholes at the mall. Say goodbye to one-click buy, saved addresses, and saved payment methods: The time I’ve been dying to save was the time I spent in all those damn post office lines. Now I can go shopping in person, interact with people, buy some products sans lithium-ion for some expats and enlistees (penis straws from Spencer’s?). I’ll only have to wait for the mall to open – perfect, I’ve been aching to sit down with that Sears circular that came in the mail last week.

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