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Canada's Navy Would Like You to Know It Is Willing to Spend $40,000 on a Bassoon

Even the East Coast Navy band has to go through the government's tender and procurement process.

Usually, the Canadian government's procurement portal is full of boring requests for things like control valves or hydraulic press brakes. Other times, you stumble on gems, like this request for expertise on hacking cars.

But this week, the government is looking for a new bassoon.

According to a tender notice (titled "Bassoon Musical Instrument," in case you weren't clear on what's at stake here), it seems that even the East Coast Navy's Stadacona band has to go through the government's official tender and procurement process just to play some tunes.

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"The Department of National Defence has a requirement for one (1) Benson Bell Bassoon Musical Instrument," the tender reads. Bell Bassoons Limited, a company based just outside of Peterborough, Ontario, manufactures custom models, which the government projects will cost of between $25,000 and $40,000.

For scale, here is a man standing with a bassoon:

If any of our readers fancy themselves bassonheads, please tell us how this bassoon compares to the fine bassoons manufactured by Bell Bassoons. Image: Dirk Altmann/Flickr

But in case you were thinking of jumping at the chance to supply the government with your own artisanal bassoon, you'll have to look elsewhere. Usually, the government gives multiple vendors the chance to bid on tenders, but in this case, Bell Bassoons has been chosen as the pre-identified provider—mostly because the bassoon in question "has been identified as a perfect match for the musician's hands and physical makeup."

Basically, the government just posted a notice saying they're buying a bassoon—this particular bassoon—and there's nothing you can do to change their mind (not that they had much choice in the matter; any tender for over $25,000 must be posted publicly).

To be fair, it's apparently a pretty damn good bassoon. "I have owned many fine bassoons over the course of my career, always searching for that magic combination of complex sound, balanced sonority, a great scale and highly flexible response," reads one endorsement on Bell Bassoons' website from an orchestra member. "My latest Bell bassoon truly meets these standards."

Goods and services valued at less than $25,000 don't typically get posted publicly to the public works website, which means that all sorts of interesting tenders often remain hidden from the public eye. Thankfully, the unique—and expensive—nature of this particular item has given us a rare window into the inner workings of the Department of National Defence, even if it's only the Navy's band.