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'Fractal Orgy' Is the First Ever Raw Fractal To Be Banned

Further evidence that if something exists, then a pornographic version also exists.

The ubiquitous Internet Rule 34 states that if something exists, then a pornographic version also exists. From iPods to Calvin and Hobbes, if it exists, it has been sexualized.

Today's example comes in the form of an animated fractal, coded by a designerd called Kali, at Shadertoy. For the unfamiliar, a fractal is way of graphing an equation that grows exponentially into infinity. Because the formulas remain constant, the spatial change in value forms a repeating pattern separated only by scale. It's confusing, but just think of it as if the end of each one of your fingers had another little hand identical to your first hand, just smaller.

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Then at the tips of those five smaller fingers were even smaller hands, so on into infinity. The same form keeps repeating just at different sizes. Like this:

Kali, a former fractal artist whose other WebGL animations include this "glass dildo," claims his smutty "Fractal Orgy" is the first ever raw fractal to be banned, specifically from the fractal art community FractalForums.com. The distinguishing term here, "raw," is an important one. Among fractal artists, the term raw implies a fractal that has manipulated in only superficial ways such as adjusting the color palate. Essentially, a raw fractal is just a pure representation of a formula, just math in pictures. "Fractal Orgy" is then just a more sophisticated version of plugging "58,008" into your calculator and then flipping it upside down.

Flesh-colored and pulsating with a goovy rhythm, "Fractal Orgy" definitely has that sort of amorphous lava-lamp sexuality. You can't help but notice it really looks like a certain kind of sexual act. It also looks like an up-close shot of a shaft and some smooth porn-star balls bobbing up and down by the power of some sexy, unseen force.

With a title like "Fractal Orgy," Kali is obviously trying to be suggestive, but can a raw fractal actually be considered obscene, to the point where it might be banned from a family friendly fractal forum? It's just math after all. Censorship is a slippery slope, and if "Fractal Orgy" can actually be considered vulgar, pretty soon we'll have to put up an age gate before counting past 68!

What may be twisting the undergarments of the prudes at FractalForums is really just a prime example of a pareidolia, a phenomenon in which humans tend to assign meaning and interpretations to vague forms or random data. Another good example of pareidolia is the perceived face carved into Mars, or seeing pictures in a Roschach test. The mere suggestion of nudity is basically all it takes to get our homosapien panties wet. And of course this fractal was officially banned by the uptight puritans at www.fractalforums.com, ostensibly sending the message "keep your set sex behind closed proxies."

It's enough to make your math teacher blush, but if your TA catches you peeping in the lecture hall just tell her you're boning up on your recursive formulas. I tried really hard to make some fractal set or Mandelbrotwurst sex puns but ultimately I flunked out of algebra. So if you got some good dirty math jokes leave em the comments.