Quantcast

Trend Alert: Covering Yourself in Bees

Don’t bee afraid.

Jacob Dubé

Jacob Dubé

How does one even breathe? Image: CBC

Nothing gets people riled up quite like seeing large amounts of insects crawling up and down the skin of other humans, which is why it's so great that this week saw not one, but two stories involving large amount of bees. And it's not even Christmas yet!

First up, a woman from Ohio posed for a photoshoot accompanied by 20,000 bees on her pregnant "bee belly." Emily Mueller runs a business with her husband that removes bee colonies from unwanted locations without hurting the insects, so it's no surprise that she would be this chill around the little guys.

It really makes you wonder, as a parent you really want to feel your baby kick, but a nudge in this situation and it's all over.

Anyway, if you thought that was bad, a man in Toronto broke a world record that would make 20,000 bees seem like only a casual handful. Juan Carlos Noguez Ortiz from the Dickey Bee Honey Farm broke the world record for longest time with a swarm of bees on your head—with 100,000 bees completely overtaking his head and chest—capping at 61 minutes.

Imagine having bees on your face for two-thirds of the length of The Bee Movie.

The trick to not getting stung so bad you end up looking like Sloth from The Goonies, is to properly execute the steps of Bee Bearding. In short, you put the queen and however many bees you need and feed them sugar syrup until they're so bloated they wouldn't even think of stinging. Then, once placed on a willing human, they'll crawl and swarm all over the queen, creating a warm coat of bees to keep you warm in the winter.

Forget Owl City's 1,000 hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs, because it seems like there's nowhere to go but up for Mass Amounts of Bees from here.

Get six of our favorite Motherboard stories every day by signing up for our newsletter.