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There Are So Many Stupid Ways to Watch History Unfold Now

Why wait for news memes when you can watch them in real-time?

Zack Kotzer

James Comey's Senate testimony was destined to be dry, dull, and pedantic. The extremely tall ex-FBI director handles every matter like Seymour Skinner, and the goal of the entire affair is to scrutinize the details of two dinners like memories of a summer relationship that didn't work out. But the public has projected a great sense of gravity and urgency over the hearing.

It is probably an important moment in American history, but we no longer need to rely on the recountings of established media. The testimony is streaming on any platform that can stream video, which is why it's so easy for you to watch it at work. Whereas previous generations remember the moon landing as narrated by Walter Cronkite, I will remember this historic day as narrated by 20,000 gamers memeing over Comey's words via Twitch's chat feature:

Twitch, a site best known for streaming Hearthstone, Rust, Bob Ross, and garbage, decided to stream the testimony because it wanted to "provide the Twitch community with an easy, familiar way to get involved in the political process."

That user, shezzae, who wrote "oral" into chat followed by an anime lady emoji? That's a part of this historic moment as well now. I know that's how I'll remember it.

While you can take the video games out of Twitch, you can't take the gamer out as easily. The same rotation of memes scatter by so quickly in the comments that trying to dissect them would be like trying to single out a raindrop. The same can be said about the whiplash comment sections on any given Facebook or YouTube stream, but no one stepped up to the idiotic plate quite like the social media-focused Super Deluxe.

Why wait for a meme to appear on Twitter when you can watch memes being born in real time? The Super Deluxe stream was peppered with Snapchat filters, the Curb your Enthusiasm theme, and memes willed into the world by Vic Berger, a brilliant video editor who proposed that Trump is best summarized as an air horn. People in the comments could make suggestions to modify people's voices with audio filters to make them sound like elves or Darth Vader. Eventually they edited in lil' arms on Comey to have him rattle around a Shake Weight.

By McCain's questioning period, the caption conveyed what the public was thinking: "Just tell us wtf is going on dude."

CNN supposedly has a tape prepared for the end of the world, a military band performing Nearer My God to Thee. For several reasons, I do not know if I will see that video broadcast from the news network, one of those reasons being that I might just end up getting Rick Rolled instead.