A Failed Bitcoin Exchange Is Selling Everything and It's the Saddest Thing

Server racks are going for less than a coat rack.

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Oct 21 2015, 4:54pm

Image: Flickr/Rebecca Partin

Vault of Satoshi was once a relatively popular destination to buy Bitcoin with regular money in Canada, but the company folded earlier this year. Now, they're auctioning off everything from mining servers to the office fridge.

As it turns out, after a week of bidding, most people would rather have the fridge.

The Brantford, Ontario company decided to close its doors because its founders wanted to focus their attentions on a new project—TurboFlix, a site that lets users get around Netflix's geofenced restrictions on content—so they're selling all their old gear online.

The online auction began last week, and is set to close today at 8 PM EST. Items must be picked up locally. Some of the more practical items have garnered interest—power cords and printers, for example—but the expensive, high-end equipment is getting considerably fewer bids.

Here's our guide to the best and worst deals:

Antminer S2 Mining Server
New price: $3,899 USD (BTC: 14.5)
Auction price: $6 CDN (BTC: .02)
Verdict: Bonkers

Image: Flickr/dogecoin

MIning servers like the Antminer S2 are specifically designed to mine Bitcoin—basically, solve extremely complex math problems faster than the next miner—and the S2 was a darling of the crypto world when it was released last year. At the low price of $6, that's a discount of roughly 99.8 percent, assuming the bids on these machines don't shoot up in the next few hours. But after a week of bidding, that seems doubtful.

Since Bitcoin mining really is a game of cat and mouse between miners—whoever has the most powerful and up-to-date machines has a built-in advantage over everyone else—it's possible that serious bidders will be skeptical about buying old equipment.

A Small Kenmore Fridge
New price: Pretty sure you can get these for free on street corners in most college towns.
Auction price: $16 CDN (BTC: .05)
Verdict: Bad

Not the same fridge, but you get the picture. Image: Flickr/mike

This fridge—the kind that is almost exclusively found in college dorms, on curbsides outside college dorms, and often smells like old milk and stale beer—is a hot commodity at the Vault of Satoshi auction. $16 ain't bad with seven bidders vying for the prize so far, but it's far from a steal when you consider what you could probably hawk some of the higher-end equipment for.

Server Rack
New price: $550.99 CDN (BTC: 1.56)
Auction price: $4 CDN (BTC: .01)
Verdict: Another winner

Again, not the same server rack, but this is similar. Image: Flickr/Simon Carr

After you buy your $6 bitcoin miners, you'll probably need a place to store them all. Thankfully, here's an expensive-as-hell server rack going for $4.

The dimensions listed on this auction site don't appear correct, mostly because the rack in question—a Startech model—is clearly not a square box. Instead, the rack instead looks a lot like an expensive rectangular model that Startech sells. Thus, the "new" price is a bit of an educated guess.

Other items going for $4 include three bulletin boards and a book shelf.

An "Unusual" Coat Rack
New price: Clearly priceless
Auction price: $12 CDN (BTC: .03)
Verdict: Obviously tops them all

Not the same rack but PRETTY UNUSUAL. Image: Flickr/marc falardeau

Are you even seeing this thing? It's so… unusual. Eccentric. It's the kind of metal coat rack you bring out when you have a good feeling that a Tinder date is going to go very well.

"Why yes, that is my coat rack," you might say, a wry smile playing across your lips.
"I know it's a bit… unusual, but hey. That's me."

You'll be glad that you didn't buy three expensive server racks instead.

Correction 10/21: This story originally stated that the Antminer S2 was available at a discount of 65,000 percent, which makes no sense, as some helpful readers have pointed out. Sometimes you do simple math and sometimes you do simple math backwards.