Scotty Smalls
Want to Be a 'Disneyland Editor'? A Bay Area Website Is Hiring One
The totally normal job requirements entail living within driving distance of the park and having "a deep knowledge of Disneyland."
An Exhaustive Investigation of 'Mayochup,' Heinz's New Condiment
We did a deep dive on the mysterious product that everyone's talking about.
Alex Jones Got Owned by America's Biggest Yogurt Company
The Infowars host was forced to apologize for propagating a thoroughly bogus story about Chobani.
Fuck Pumpkin Spice
Purchasing highly processed pumpkin-spice-flavored things is the equivalent of decorating your entire house with Keep Calm and Carry On merchandise from the dollar store.
People Who Put Orange Juice in Their Cereal Must Be Stopped
A new survey from Kellogg reveals that a full one-fifth of Americans are blasphemously putting OJ in their cereal instead of milk. This is unacceptable.
I Ate Centaur Meat with Drake in the Alps
I've followed rapper Drake to Equus 1— the famous centaur-centric restaurant in Aix-les-Bains—to find out how centaur meat has shaped his life and career.
A Florida Chef Is Inciting a Class War Over Ketchup
A Florida chef has banned ketchup from his restaurant, invoking widespread outrage. Is he embarrassed of America's devoted condiment culture?
Logging On to the Dark Carnival
This weekend I made an account on JuggaloBook, the new social network for everybody who's down with the clown.