I Called a Company Called Techno Constructions Ltd to Ask If They Listen to Techno

If you're lucky enough to live, work, or party in Shoreditch —and I hope for your sake you've not done the latter since Plastic People shut— you've probably seen the sign above. Maybe you've been on a street art tour, guided up and down street after street by a bloke called Giles who's charging you fifteen quid for the pleasure of having a few bits of graffiti pointed out to you on a soggy Wednesday morning, and Giles, in his infinite wisdom, has marched you Curtain Road, he's started smirking, and he's turned round to you and the group and he's said something like, "Hey, guys, guys, does anyone here like…." and then he raises his eyebrows at the sign and you try and force a laugh out of yourself out of politeness but the only sound the emerges is an embarrassed squark, and you cover that up with a cough and Giles catches your eye and for a second, just for a second, you've stared deep into the lonely depth's of another human being's soul. Still, a sign that says techno is pretty funny.

For the last few months I've walked passed it several times a day and every time I see it, I think, "wouldn't it be mildly amusing if I called the number on the sign and asked whoever answers if they like techno?" Surely, I reasoned, a company calling themselves Techno Constructions Ltd would be into techno, right? They had to be. You don't call yourself Techno Constructions Limited unless you really, really like techno. It makes no sense.

So, this morning, I called the number. Here's what happened:

THUMP: Hi, I work at THUMP. We write about clubbing and dance music. Can I ask you a quick question?
Woman at Techno Constructions Limited: Yes.

Do you listen to techno music?
What music?

Techno.
What?

Do you or anyone you work with listen to techno music ever? You're called Techno Constructions Ltd.
No.

Thanks.

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