Of Course Mike Florio Went There

Let's start with some truths that are universally acknowledged:

• Child pornography is disgusting and horrifying and not something to joke about, ever.
• Prison is, objectively, fucking awful.

Seems pretty obvious, no? We're all on the same page here? Cool.

Well, surprise, Mike Florio begs to differ.

For reasons known only His Foosballness, Florio decided to take a break from reporting Super Serious Training Camp Business to crowdsource jokes about Jared Fogle's impending guilty plea on child pornography charges. The tweet's been deleted but it looked – and, as our own Caitlin Kelly astutely points out, read – like this:

this is literally the world's worst creative writing prompt pic.twitter.com/5L7oYPJ7cl
— Caitlin Kelly (@atotalmonet) August 19, 2015

Yup.

The silver lining is that, for one fleeting moment, it appeared as though common decency prevailed – that, yes, even Mike Florio can realize that there's a line, even if it took a deserved public flogging to get him there.

And then, in typical Florio fashion, it immediately got clouded over by a fresh thunderstorm of suck:

Didn't mean to make light of the things Jared Fogle did. The comment was aimed at how difficult it will be for him in prison.
— ProFootballTalk (@ProFootballTalk) August 19, 2015

I suppose the joke's on all of us, because by now no one should be surprised by anything Florio does. He embodies the NFL shield at its derpiest—a man so flagrantly and enthusiastically off-key that an entire career has been launched solely on the auspices of parodying his ridiculous website and the legion of bridge trolls that call its comments section home. Mike Florio has made a healthy living for himself doing Florio things, and will continue to conk that drum accordingly. The rest of us can only sit back in slack-jawed amazement whenever he bangs out the hits.

I sincerely want to spend five minutes in Mike Florio's mind to understand how he sees the world.https://t.co/0aTUGuucqk
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) August 19, 2015