How To Actually Make Money as a Sugar Baby

Sugar dating is arguably the most user-friendly way to get into sex work, due to the fact that you can quite easily balance it with a typical lifestyle – and it’s monetarily worth the emotional (and physical) labour if done right. But, there is a huge learning curve that needs to be traversed as you dip your toe into the business.

I’ve always been attracted to experiences that broaden my experiences with people from all walks of life, and sugar dating aligned with this curiosity from an early(ish) age. I’ve worked in traditional jobs that have given me a steady pay-cheque, but being attracted to some sort of a hustle led me to find sugar dating. And the sugar daddies I’ve seen have often given me invaluable advice on excelling in my traditional career path, too. Often, it’s a win-win.

Since being involved in this life I’ve met people who’ve wanted to get into it and I’ve happily walked them through what I know. A lot of the advice online is sort of… vague. So, I’m hoping this guide will steer the right people (emphasis on this) in the right direction. I’ve never worked as a stripper, or in a massage parlour, but I’ve been made privy to the community it comes with. You can always go to your colleagues for advice, for emotional support and to vent about the client that asked you to act like a teenager (so, so gross).

First, though: I want to caution that this work isn’t for the light-hearted. There’s obviously a huge range of safety issues that come with it and you’re essentially out there in the field alone. I’ll admit that, at the start, my naivety was definitely taken advantage of. I was underpaid, put in uncomfortable situations, or asked too much of (like communicating over text 24/7). At some points I’ve questioned if it’s worth it. The gig comes with stress and even sometimes (weirdly) the nagging self doubt of why I fuck guys for free at all. That passed though, thank fuck.

I’ve had a total of four sugar daddies in the space of eight years, each being quite long term, (and often around the world) plus my fair share of iffy first encounters from before I had the right advice on the profession. And when I first jumped on Seeking.com as a 21-year-old, a site that was at one point a one-stop-shop for finding connections in the field before becoming an “adult dating site”  – I was going in totally blind. 

However you end up connecting with your first sugarwhatever, and whatever website helps you get there, the first meeting needs to be in public, over coffee or lunch. 

No alcohol, no drugs. 

The first time I met up with a man I connected with online (who was 33 and good looking), I met him at a bar and the first thing he did was offer me his bag of coke. I, of course, obliged, went to the bathroom and railed two big lines.

We ended up at his apartment, amongst the ugliest ottoman I’ve ever seen (I wanted to throw up on it), a huge pile of coke and yawn-worthy bachelor pad furniture. When we went upstairs to have sex I still hadn’t had the “arrangement” conversation with him: the first thing I should have done.

“Have you ever had an arrangement before and what was it?” is the first thing you should ask after a short round of niceties. Then segway into what you expect. They’ll appreciate your business acumen, so don’t feel too forward.

With this man I ended up trying to escape his apartment mid-way through fucking him and he ran downstairs, blocked the door, then snatched my shoes off me. When I ran down the hallway, bare-foot, he yelled out to me: “I’ll give you $1000 if you stay!” 

I came back; he never paid me.

Six years later, I had a sugar daddy who was a 52-year-old who lived in a serviced apartment above a hotel. He lost his high-flying job when he went to jail for drug trafficking and was weirdly open about that. It was my best and funniest arrangement to date. I built a totally new personality for him, had an alias, only spoke to him on Signal so he didn’t have my number, and had my location permanently shared with my friends throughout the period.

And this man had a total fascination with me. He was deeply misogynistic but it was hilarious to me, as a curious observer into the world of someone who was a rich, white old man with a pot belly, two failed marriages and kids who were older than me. He called me “bitch” affectionately, was convinced I was really a lesbian (as I led him to believe, just for fun) and gave me a lot of free drugs.

To be safe, I never did the drugs around him – I saved them for my friends and I. I know I hustle free drugs off boring men a lot, but this man was on another level. He had nothing to offer. All he wanted to talk about was me, and I didn’t want to give him anything. I lied and lied and lied, and did eventually lose track of my fake identity. He didn’t really notice though.

I’ve heard the average sugar baby charges $500 per meet. That is a total fucking joke. We are giving them the experience of their lifetime, they’ll worship the ground you walk on. My minimum is $800, cash, up-front. Make this extremely clear, because again, they’ll be impressed by your forwardness. Any sugar daddy who objects to this is 100% not worth the emotional and physical labour.

When I first met another 20-something-year-old sugar baby who was very successful (there’s a LOT of sugar babies who give and never get), she opened my eyes to a whole other world of the business.

She had her sugar daddy’s credit card... She went shopping at Balenciaga regularly… she only had to fuck him once a week! I was shocked. I’ve never found a unicorn like that, but they’re clearly out there.

Women hold immense power, we just need to recognise it. We may be paid less than men, have to deal with hoards of disappointing experiences when we date men for free, and generally traverse a world where everything seems to be working against us. But while we’re young, hot and ambitious we can absolutely rinse men of everything they’ve got.

Understand that taking on the role of being a sugar baby comes with a lot of the same caveats as other forms of sex work. Your safety may be compromised; your friends and peers in the industry are invaluable; you need to go into business for yourself; and you need to have a structured approach to every day, every interaction, and every transaction. The rise of things like OnlyFans has left a lot of people (particularly women) thinking that entry into the industry is easy (which it very well may be). But doing things properly, safely, and – most importantly – in your own comfort zone can take a considerable amount of self reflection and honest conversation. So yeah, try it out if you’d like. But I’ve been going for almost a decade now and, while I’ve earned some cash and have a hell of a lot of stories to tell, I’m still trying to figure out the best way to get it done.

Jewel Nichols is a writer from Sydney who loves to talk about herself and flirt with security guards. Follow her on Instagram here.