Lillian, 26, Brunswick 4pm: I’ve recently moved to Melbourne and thanks to the rental crisis I am still staying in my friend’s spare room with my mattress on the floor surrounded by my clothes. A real ‘walk-on’ wardrobe situation. I try to spend as little time in the room as possible so my night out is starting at 4pm with a dip at Coburg Olympic Pool cause it’s literally 35ºC. It is truly one of the better liminal spaces I’ve been to. $5.80 for entry and $3 for a life saver icy pole and my night is starting strong. $8.80.5:15pm: On my bike ride home a friend texts to say we should go for drink at a bar on Lygon Street so I head home to change into something hot. I have a one of my housemate’s Peronis from the fridge for my solo pres. $0. I think about booking a car to the bar but decide to ride as it’s a pretty nice evening and it means more money to go towards drinks. 6:15pm: When I arrive my friend and her boyfriend have the prime spot of the table on the street. I go to order a round of Aperol Spritzes for us and my other friend is working behind the bar so they’re on the house and we do the fake card tap manoeuvre. $0.6:35pm: We follow this round with two glasses of riesling and some flatbread and dip that my friend goes inside to get and we have those while people-watching. Everyone is out and about tonight apparently. $0 7:02pm: We get a text from another friend who has been at a hens party since midday and is obviously already obliterated. She says they’re headed to a bar in Clifton Hill so we agree to have some more drinks here so we can at least attempt to be on their level when we meet up. 7:15pm: Someone else who is not my friend serves me so charges me $11 for a tequila lemon lime bitters (new favourite drink – you can’t taste the tequila in it). Then I order a second. $22.7:53pm: All three of us decide to head to the bar in Clifton Hill to see what happens. I get a ride share for $17.13.8:07pm: We arrive at the bar which is at capacity so we squeeze in to get a seltzer and then drink it outside on the street. $9.8:30pm: Our friend who was at the hens stumbles out saying that they’ve just hired a stripper to come perform for an hour. This bar is, how you say, trendy and not really the venue you’d expect for a Magic Mike-like performance. But apparently she got the go-ahead from has her friend who owns the bar. Or, he begrudgingly said yes since its a hens, but tells us to head straight upstairs and keep it on the down low. The guy turns up 15 minutes later carrying a boombox and for the next 45 minutes gives a pretty epic performance featuring at least three Pitbull deep cuts and jackhammer antics. The hens party pays his fee. $010:12pm: At this point, the mixture of bitch diesel (rosé) and tequila – both courtesy of the hens party – hits and I’m ready for the next location. The bride-to-be offers me a line of coke (my official invitation to the rest of the night) and we decide to head to karaoke in the city via another car one of the hens orders.10:45pm: Realising I haven’t had dinner I run into a convenience store for some Haribo Pasta Frutta Gummies (the best). $4.95.10:53pm: We rock up to Star Karaoke and hire a room for two hours which ends up being $25 each including a complimentary drink token - I get a G&T. For some reason the hens choose to sing Akon’s entire discography and I’m not mad at it. I sing Lovefool by The Cardigans; a noble choice. 11:45pm: The maid of honour orders two bottles of Champagne and a fishbowl cosmopolitan to the karaoke room. Epic. $0 1am: At 1am on the dot, a lady comes in to tell us our time is up. The hens kick on but my friend and I do not so we book a car back to Brunswick for a crushing $36.06.1:35am: I arrive home back to the abode (mattress on floor) and order a Margarita pizza to eat at ground level. $23.50.2:03am: I eat that and fall asleep to the sounds of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fighting about something someone said four episodes ago. Bliss. Total: $157.44. Ok I think I officially love hens parties now. See more Night Out Receipts here.
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