New Zealand is the Rest of the World’s Exit Strategy, But What’s In It For Them?

This article originally appeared on VICE NZ.

Can you feel that? It's the world's buttocks clenching to bursting point as America goes to the polls. Will we wake up tomorrow basking in the glow of Trump's orange-hued ego or will another Hillary have climbed to the top of the world? Either way that country is going to have millions of very pissed off voters and a fair number of them will be thinking of leaving Dodge. Even Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has suggested she'd hang up her gown and fly into the sunset. And where did she say she'd go? New Zealand…she'd be far from alone too if Trump trumps all. Are we ready for them? And do we even want them here?

After all, there's a fairly common movie trope that when all seems lost one character will suggest upping sticks and moving to New Zealand. So, if we've long been shorthand for "beyond the black stump," a place so far off the radar we've been considered likely hiding holes for everyone from Elvis to Lord Lucan and Keith Richards, what's in all this for us?

We've been here before of course. It's not the first time New Zealand has been considered a refuge and it certainly won't be the last. The town of Dannevirke was purpose built to home the Danes who found themselves living on the wrong side of the border after they had the very stupid idea of calling out the Germans in 1864. They weren't refugees exactly, they had the ways and means to set up a new life without too much help from us, and they certainly did a lot to fill out this country's empty hinterlands.

In the 1930s, us and Australia did rather well out of the throngs who looked at the rise of Hitler and Mussolini and thought it might be a good idea to leave, and then of course there were the Ten Pound Poms of the 1940s and 1950s—England might have finished on the winning side of World War II, but they came out of it looking every inch like they hadn't.

So we've long been seen as a place to quite literally get away from it all and, according to the New Zealand Institute of Economic Research, we've seldom been in a better position to accommodate another wave. Sort of.

Consider the evidence: we always feature in Lonely Planets best destinations list; Auckland, somehow, is always there or thereabouts when it comes to listing the most liveable cities; and we've managed to boost our tourist intake massively despite convincing the world we're swarming in Orcs, monsters and gangs.

"But more than that," says NZEI chief executive Laurence Kubiak, "the economic fundamentals are looking very good for us at the moment. So it's not just rich people who might consider coming here, if you compare what's happening here with the US or wherever, you could make a very good case for New Zealand being a good destination for just about anyone, especially if you're stuck somewhere like Skegness."

Supporting this notion is the huge uptick in immigrant numbers, the rise and rise of our tourism industry, and, in business terms, a survey of employers has found 20 per cent are looking to hire in the next quarter, the highest rate in 47 years.

Which is probably why ex-pat New Zealanders are leading the charge. And Kubiak is one of them. He immigrated to Britain in the 1980s and says home has huge appeal right now, our cities have grown up a bit, our culture has diversified and it's a great place to bring up kids. If you consider there are now six million people holding New Zealand passports with only about 4.5 million living here, we might need to start building a new city. Which is part of the problem—we can't really control where all these people settle.

"Capital always finds it's best home,'' says Kubiak, "and right now that's the golden triangle from Auckland to Hamilton and Tauranga." Unfortunately, that means house prices may only become more unaffordable if people flush with cash start heading this way in serious numbers, and an informal chat with the British High Commissioner suggests that may be in train. He mentioned to Kubiak that since the Brexit referendum he's fielded a record number of immigration enquires. We won't know if this filters through to actual arrivals until the statistics some out, and Britain's exit from Europe is yet to enacted, but the chances are better than good.

"So yes, we might remain at least one days travel from the US, Europe or wherever, but that isolation effect is now being seen as a positive thing, especially as Skype and email makes communication so easy."

Maybe Trump, once he's done trashing his former standing, will want to move here one day? The question then is where the hell can we run away to?