We Posted an Egg, to See How Far You Can Push the Royal Mail

When we post a letter, we assume it will reach its destination. It's the unspoken contract we enter into with the Royal Mail when we affix a stamp to whatever it is we want to send and pop it in the postbox. But everything has its limits. How far can you push your postie? Turns out: pretty far.

A few weeks ago, my neighbour, my housemate and I were having a conversation: could you post an egg? Not an egg in a parcel, just an egg. Would it be identified as a rogue item by the automated sorting system the postal service now uses at a number of its sites, or would it make it to an older spot and allowed through by a kindly human person?

Jump forward a few days and, in perhaps the most vital journalistic endeavour since the release of the Panama Papers, I was standing at a postbox in King's Cross, with a load of weird parcels addressed to my house.

My friends and I had attached a label to a hard-boiled egg, using Sellotape and string, and written the word "FRAGILE" across it. We had considered posting a raw egg, but thought about the potential of a vegan's birthday card getting all eggy and ruining their big day – and that's not what I got into this game to do.

Because we were there, we also posted (all without packaging): a condom, a sachet of lube, a packet of cheese and onion crisps and some king-size silver Rizla. We thought about throwing a can of lager into the mix, but it turns out it's too big to fit through the window of the postbox, so we drank that and opted for a small can of gin and tonic instead. Because the can weighs over 100g, it costs £1.50 to post (a £1 stamp and a 50p one; we did our research) – more than the cost of the drink itself, but we went ahead anyway because if we didn't do this, who would?

Oh, and we also posted a clear snap-bag of toenails, helpfully labelled "Human Toenails".

You could have a good time with this selection of items – toenails included, if you're into toenails – so we were a little worried that the postie might nick it all. But to our surprise, it all got through and was dutifully delivered to my home address the following day.

Not only that, but the Royal Mail had collected the assortment of curiosities and packaged it up for us, in a bag fittingly labelled "Our sincere apologies".

The egg was cracked, indicating it wouldn't have made it through if it had been a raw one, but other than that all was fine.

My housemate, Jade, received the items. She said the postwoman knocked on the door and said: "I don't know what happened with this, sorry," before handing it over and continuing on her round.

During the course of the investigation I contacted the Royal Mail to get their take on it all, but that proved fruitless. "I'm afraid we do not have anyone available for interview," the Senior PR Manager, Natasha, sadly informed me. So I spoke to Adam, a 40-year-old postman in Lincolnshire. He's been in the job for a couple of years and confirmed that this was, indeed, a ground-breaking investigative project. "It worked, really? That’s crazy," he said. "I've never seen anything posted without packaging – just letters and parcels."

He added: "I've heard of people posting pills and mushrooms, but nothing like that. Occasionally the letters get damaged, but I've never come across just random items." Are prospective posties trained on how to handle shipments like these? "They never mention anything like that, no. They have different rules for packages, but they all have to be packaged up, I thought." Does he think a raw egg would make it? "No, it would break during carriage."

So, there you have it: the Royal Mail is so reliable that it seems like you can post pretty much anything you want. I’m surprised their PR people didn’t want to comment on this article, this is a promotion of their service if I’ve ever seen one.

@oldspeak1 / josheustace.com