The VICE Sports NBA Trade Deadline Recap: Memphis Goes Full Grizzlies

There is something to be said for staying in your lane, and something else to be said for slamming down the accelerator as if there was no one else on the road. In the last 48 hours, in two trades that represent the ideological high-water mark of a mostly low-tide trade deadline week, the Memphis Grizzlies decided to drive extremely angry. On Tuesday, they took back Chris "Birdman" Andersen as part of a deal that sent out 3-and-D cog Courtney Lee. Today, it was Coney Island's own Lance Stephenson, who mostly serves as highly flammable gift-wrap for a first-round pick the Clippers sent them in exchange for Jeff Green.

Stephenson and Birdman are, in bottom-line terms, the tax Memphis paid for that relative bounty, but damned if they're not hilariously apropos. The Grizzlies are fun because they endure, and they endure because they embrace their lumbering, rugged selves at a time when the rest of the league strives for the sort of elegant perfection that's simply unattainable outside of the Bay Area. This has never quite worked in the context of winning a title, although Memphis does flummox Golden State in its bloodletting way. But they have a distinctive identity and an aesthetic, and that is its own sort of success.

And, given that identity, it would be hard to come up with two more perfect additions to the ensemble than these two. No one is replacing Gasol's skill in the pivot, of course, and it's probably too much asking for anyone to approximate it. But there is no one better to slot into a lineup graphic alongside Zach Randolph than Birdman, the 37-year-old anthropomorphized tattoo parlor who still barrels in for every rebound he can conceivably snag. Tony Allen has been fighting off extinction for a couple of years now, so here's Stephenson, a decade-younger replica who can defend just as well, shoots just as poorly, and gives precisely as few fucks.

In a strictly clinical sense, yes, the Grizz added an end-of-the bench big playing out the string and a problematic wing with an antique skillset and an expiring contract. They are perfectly flawed, and flawed perfectly for what Memphis is doing. This deadline was ugly, monotonous and, in the context of what we expect these sorts of occasions to be, kind of a letdown. The Grizzlies doubling down on Grit and Grind—and pure defiant weirdness—are the transactions that sum it up best.

Other deadline day happenings:

- Phoenix's arduous quest to dump human misery index Markieff Morris reached a surprisingly fruitful conclusion, as Ernie Grunfeld—known around the nation's capital as Teflon Don, per resident Wizards curmudgeon Patrick Hruby—traded away a top-nine protected first-round pick in this year's draft, Kris Humphries, and DeJuan Blair for the 26-year-old Kansas product. If Morris reverts back to his form from last season, in which he averaged 15 points on 46.5 percent shooting, it amounts to only a mild disaster for Washington. If he doesn't, at least they…have acquired someone facing felony assault charges?

-Detroit and Houston made a classic "Oh, yeah, I suppose that's entirely reasonable for each of them" trade that, in a better year, would seem far less important than it does in this one. Two days after snaking Tobias Harris from Orlando, the Pistons picked up stretch four Donatas Motiejunas and traveling marksman Marcus Thornton; the common denominator is a shooting range, and also that the Pistons are stealthily building something pretty fun. Houston took home a protected first-round pick and the right to draft someone Daryl Morey will trade away at a later date for another first-round pick.

-Three-way trade? Three-way trade! Orlando traded Channing Frye to Cleveland, which then dumped Anderson Varejao's contract to Portland (along with a first-rounder), which in turn sent a second round pick back to the Magic. You care about this because Frye is a shooting big who will see playoff minutes in Cleveland, and quite possibly significant ones. The Blazers are going to waive Varejao, but—if you were wondering—there is a rule that prohibits the Cavs from re-signing him.

-Consummate Professional Randy Foye went to the Thunder for the relatively superfluous DJ Augustin and Steve Novak and even more two even-more-superfluous second-round picks.

-And, finally, Kirk Hinrich got traded back to Atlanta, because this deadline was so stale that teams eventually gave up on inventing new transactions. It was bad. It was bad enough that you just read something about Kirk Hinrich getting traded. It was that bad.