The Best Deals This Week, From KN95 Masks to Dog Snapbacks

Alright, we know—burnout is perhaps at an all-time high, between the ongoing dredges of working from home, the fake-out of COVID maybe going away, and that weird back-to-school feeling you still get at the end of the summer. You might be feeling depleted, defeated, or just downright wack. But you know what feels good? Retail therapy. And you know what feels even better? Saving money on nice stuff. 

Every week, we trudge through bajillions of sale sections looking for the stuff that's not junk and humbly laying them at your feet like a cat bringing home a "gift." Look what we've got ya! This stuff is way better than a dead baby bird, though. This week—as with pretty much all the time—we've got a healthy, açai-bowl-like mix of the practical (a heavy-duty face mask, top-notch ear buds, an affordable but insanely sharp chef's knife) and the arguably more whimsical (a snapback for your Boston terrier; sick wraparound sunglasses). Dig in and enjoy that serotonin smoothie—summer ain't over yet. And hey, we never have to go back to middle school again. 

For a minute there, it really seemed like eVeRyThIng wAs CoOL! COVID numbers were going down, our likelihood of bar-bathroom makeouts was in a consistent upward trend, and then suddenly—boom, we're back in the grim zone with this wack ass Delta variant. Even us vaccinated folks have got to watch our backs as we figure out what's up with this thing, meaning masks = very much back (hopefully where you live, too). As we know by now, the KN95 is the gold standard of protection, but the commonly seen white ones are not the most… attractive. That's why you've gotta hunt around online for the more aesthetically versatile black ones, currently on sale over at Bona Fide Masks for just 82 cents per mask if you buy a 10-pack. 

It's been a rough couple of years and we deserve to enjoy some stupid shit, like putting a really cute hat on our dogs. Plus, it keeps the sun out of their eyes! We need it! Your rescue mutt is iconic. (Yes, people will stop you and take pics of your little dude if he's wearing this. Use that power for good.) 

We trust Huckberry's excellent curatorial sense in pretty much everything—with pants being no exception. These lightweight stretch chinos have superb reviews because they're so ridiculously versatile. They look slick enough for your "commitments," but lightweight and comfortable enough for any kickback. One reviewer says he "wore them out to a nice restaurant and golfing once, they were great for both.” Another says they're "the most comfortable and well made chinos I’ve ever worn." (And you'll save about 40 bucks on 'em right now.) 

We've sung the praises of Better Love's clit-massaging Tap Dancer many times over—but it never really gets old to enjoy a proper oral-replicating climax sesh with a magic toy. Use the code FUN to get it for under a hundred bucks (instead of its regular price of $175.99). 

Bio Bidet’s August Summer Savings Event is here for your rear—which, before or after a few goes with any of these puppies, could use a wash. (This isn’t the first time we’ve plugged the good people at Bio Bidet, either. We’re well-versed in all things bidet.) Both the Slim Zero and the USPA-4800 Divine will get the job done, it’s just a matter of how they’ll blast your cheeks. The Slim Zero offers “a Posterior wash for him and a Feminine wash for her,” which, OK; while the USPA-4800 Divine has programmable settings and a litany of ass-blasting functions. 

In the utmost corner of our Highest Self aspirations, we are being hand-fed Omakase strawberries by Channing Tatum on a Casper mattress. Given that only 60 percent of that fantasy is liable to become a reality, we thought we’d start with the most attainable (and squishy). The brand’s Nova hybrid mattress uses what they call “Zoned Support” technology and design to “gently lift your hips to align your spine and help relieve any discomfort in your back and shoulders,” while the middle layer is designed with materials that increase air flow so you can make like Enya, and sail away to your REM cycle. 

“Why thank ya, Stefano. It’s a Faleschini,” is exactly the sentence we were born to say whilst swiveling in this hot orange number by 1970s Italian designer Guide Faleschini—and spitting maraschino cherries out the window of our sleazy Midtown office. “[It has] such incredible style,” writes the seller, “no wonder these were featured in the hit Michael Douglas movie Wall Street in 1987.” This baby is a blend of chrome, supple leather, and ergonomic design that makes the lofty price tag worth it if you work from home a lot, or need to blow through all of Nana’s birthday checks in one go. Lucky for you, it’s 20 percent off. 

Do you also dream in shades of Guy Fieri? Have you set “Every Morning” by Sugar Ray as your phone’s alarm clock tone? Then you probably own these already, but on the off chance you don’t: Please wrap these ‘00s Oakleys around your sweet head to complete the look. There’s nothing those red iridium lenses won’t match.  

This is what we in the business call a Full Trustworthy-ish Person Jacket, because our (self-declared) business interests mainly include exploring our lumbersexual needs, and helping you to stop being a grown man with a bed on the floor. This twill Carhartt jacket lives somewhere in the middle of that whole process, and coddles you for the entire ride without visibly making you look like the seasoned, outdoorsy chalupa you will feel like in its folds. 

Knives are sick—this is known. Some knives, though, are sicker than others, and totally affordable. While you could blow thousands on fancy knives that will last forever and serve you very, very well, most of us don’t have that kind of dough lying around, and if we did, we’d probably just buy a slew of solid, dependable knives for less than a hundred bones. This particular bad boy from Miyabi has a 5-star average rating from almost 250 reviews, and features “fine carbide distribution,” which “results in a blade that holds an incredibly sharp angle and is extremely durable, with no risk of chipping under normal use.” Nice. 

We’re not going to stop eating queso in bed, which means we’ve got to look for a sneakier way to disguise our stains. This lightly tie-dyed duvet cover is both beautiful and distracting, which is all we ever want, anyways, and the woven throw says, “I am a hot single mom from 1999.” 

And if you’re still horny for dealsdealsdeals? This five star rabbit vibrator is 80% off this week. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.