Don’t Expect the Marketing Manager to Do the Office Tea Round

It's no secret that Britain takes tea pretty seriously. We've written needlessly pedantic guides on how to prepare it and almost suffered a heart attack when someone makes us a bad cup. But how about a little more info on the whole tea-making process? Namely, that emblem of 3.37 PM procrastination and confusing workplace etiquette—the office tea round.

Do you offer to make the tea first or wait until a more junior employee steps forward? What if you are the junior employee? Does anyone else hoard tea bags in their desk draw? Is it unfair to try and avoid making tea for Tracy in HR because she takes three sugars and it's an affront to your personal beliefs on hot beverage sweetness levels? And who the fuck asked for rooibos?

It seems you weren't the only one thinking that yes, someone really should conduct some research into the minutiae of tea-drinking among bored Felixstowe recruitment consultants. A new survey commissioned by global teabag-hawkers Tetley (natch) claims to shed light on tea in the British workplace.

Questioning 2000 British adults working in a variety of office-based roles, the survey found that the average office worker drinks at least four cups of tea a day. Those working in advertising were found to drink the most tea, while admin employees drank the least and were also the least likely to take tea breaks.

Creative workers were shown to be most fussy when it comes to how tea is made (well, too much jasmine in the sencha infusion could totally disrupt the really important design brief they're working on, guys) while ever-dependable IT workers were the least demanding.

The survey also questioned participants on how often they prepared tea for colleagues. Building managers and maintenance workers made the most tea rounds, while those in marketing roles the least. (So that's why the marketing team schedules its crucial ROI-acceleration-catch-up meeting around elevenses.)

The survey also exposed the murky underworld of tea-dodging. Four in ten bosses admitted to never making their employees a cup of tea and, despite drinking the most tea, those stingy ad guys were found to be the most likely to do a tea dash without making anyone else one too. Men were also shown to be more likely than women to engage in the old velvet spoon technique, and make tea in secret to avoid offering anyone else one.

While this all paints a pretty sorry picture of Britain's office workforce, perhaps the saddest thing about the survey (beside the fact that actual time and money was spent on talking in detail about tea bags) is the fact that many people are simply too busy to drink tea. One in five told the survey that they took less tea breaks now than five years ago, something psychologist Honey Langcaster-James puts down to the "increasing pressure people feel they are under at work" and tea being seen as an "unnecessary indulgence."

Or it could just be that Gary in accounts is the only one who ever offers to make one and he will insist on putting the milk in last. Peasant.