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Apart and Together is a series chronicling dating and relationships during an unprecedented public health crisis.
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Like Erickson, Gigi, 27, who asked to omit her last name for privacy reasons, found herself moving more quickly than normal in a recently formed relationship. She spent most of the pandemic single, after having gone through a breakup in January and whipping through a quick self-described “rebound” in the spring. After undergoing a pandemic-delayed surgery in July, Gigi recovered and re-downloaded Tinder in August. Within two weeks, she met someone who felt promising. The conversation was intimate right off the bat; the two exchanged long, detailed messages for a few days before agreeing to meet out for dinner in Cincinnati, Ohio, where they both live. They’ve been seeing each other consistently for over a month now.While they haven’t defined the relationship as monogamous explicitly, Gigi said it’s implied. He works in a hospital and is a single parent, and, as a result, has to be cautious about how many people he’s interacting with regularly. Gigi feels similarly, having gone through the pandemic thus far by following regulations “to a tee,” she said. The quick exclusivity is hastened even more by the limitations of dating someone new right now. With most public spaces off-limits, or under strict restrictions to keep people as safe as possible, hanging out at home is a normal first or second date activity. “It’s a lot more like, not doing anything but binging a Netflix show and talking,” Gigi said.“A lot of us have the same feelings about everything going on, and it’s nice to be able to share that with somebody and talk about it.”
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“We both showed up with masks in hand, but immediately felt so comfortable with one another that we hugged and left our masks off,” she said. “We talked for five hours! It was deliciously non-normative for mid-pandemic.”Nelson said she was initially just looking for intimacy and connection, and “to get laid,” but now that first date is heading into actual relationship territory, as the weather in Oregon cools.“There is a palpable desire for connection now more than ever, so there’s some consideration about like, Are we just lonely, or actually into each other?” she said, summarizing what likely many are asking themselves as they lock down cuffs they hope will last the coming months. “I think and hope it’s the latter.”Like with most things, it’s almost certainly a combination of the two: Quarantine and lockdown are lonely by necessity, as we all learned just months ago, and those who’ve gone through the year without a partner are feeling that loneliness more acutely.Also, being alone for a long time does things to the brain, in ways that are probably both scientific and not. I’m thinking here about how, in this week’s premiere of The Bachelorette (so sorry about this), after spending undisclosed amounts of time in quarantine at a resort outside of Palm Springs, the cast of men were giddy at the mere idea of touching a woman’s hand. The deliberate approach to cuffing this year is a necessity; who would choose to go through whatever the coming months bring, totally alone, touching no hands?“There’s some consideration like, Are we just lonely, or actually into each other?”