Composite by VICE Staff
When people refer to someone being “the salt of the Earth,” I honestly have no idea what they’re talking about. That’s because I’m too interested in thinking about salt for my food. Like, am I getting it from a rustic salt cellar? An elegant, old-school grinder? Where’s “the pepper of the Earth?” What about the weird, electric, LED-spewing machines some of us use to contain it? The truth is that while we love having tasty spices to put on our food, the ~*aesthetic vibe*~ of how we keep those spices is just as important. When we buy salt and pepper, they’re already in containers—it’s where we keep them that shows the world who we are. That one’s for free, fam. Salt cellars and pepper grinders. That’s what we’re talkin’ about here. Do you keep your pepper in a massive, red-sauce-joint-style grinder? Or in a basic container that’s the kitchen gear equivalent of “live, laugh, love?” Well, everything’s about to change. Here are some of our fave spice containers. Everyone knows that Peugeot’s 9-inch French pepper grinder is the GOAT. It’s chic, it’s elegant, it’s smooth as hell. It’s got six settings. I use it. You should use it.Everything’s coming up French this month, baby! This Le Creuset salt crock is a rustic, timeless cellar that will elevate your whole table.Swiss brand Kuhn Rikon makes dependable, attractive gear, and this pepper grinder’s modern design is frankly very sick.An electric, LED-lit grinder that’s got… well… about 20,000 Amazon reviews (with a 4.4-average)? Yeah, sure, let’s do it. This is the Seal Team Six of grinders (or something).Whoa! Careful! This bear-themed set will keep your precious salt and pepper secure. That is, if you plan to fill it with salt. Alternatively, you could fill it with cocaine, turning this little guy into a… cocaine bear. I’m sorry.Would you like some pepper, sir? A super-long pepper mill with a walnut stain has timeless mid-century modern appeal (and is ready to hover over your Caesar salad).This salt-and-pepper pair isn’t flashy or sexy, but its vibe is malleable—you’ve seen this one (or something like it) everywhere from restaurants and your single friend’s sleek apartment to your parents’ house out in the ‘burbs. Hell, NGL, I have an extremely similar one.A very horny pair. The only thing left to decide is: When you pick it up, are you gonna thumb the breast, or [redacted].OMFG, these are so cute. These little rooster friends will turn your breakfast nook into a cute space.These are clutch—you’ve used them a million times at diners and cafes. Fun!Now, if you only had something good to eat.
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Bonjour to the big daddy
Simply a beautiful cellar
If you like “modern art”
For grinding in the dark
For fans of ‘The Revenant’
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The classic ‘say when’
If you like to be reminded of the suburbs
Tit for Tat
Come hither, little chickens
If you wish you lived at a diner
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.