People Actually Used These Passwords on LinkedIn

Apparently LinkedIn was hacked, with current estimates pegging the number of stolen passwords at around 6.5 million. That’s a whole lot of passwords! I wonder if they’re sitting in a spreadsheet somewhere.

Why? Well, it’s LinkedIn, the supposed social network for ‘professional types’ that really seems to be, for normal people, nothing more than an online repository for key résumé information. But for a pretty hefty group, LinkedIn is the premier location for self-promoting hypernetworking jerkoffery that resembles a speed dating group featuring nothing but autistic Donald Trump cyborgs.

You’d think that, for people that take themselves so seriously, they’d have some seriously professional passwords. Well, thanks to the wonderful LeakedIn tool that checks if your password was stolen, I’ve rounded up the absolute dumbest passwords people used on LinkedIn. Please, laugh at their shame.

You had to expect this one, but damn is it depressing.

I can’t tell if this is a spelling error or if someone took the time to try to be clever but still ended up with a horrible password.

LinkedIn, where social media strategists go to let their hair down.

I’m surprised I didn’t find this one on Reggae Horn.

This is the first password I checked. What does that say about me?

Mid-level managers at Taco Bell can be a real gas.

This is the password of a Hollywood power agent that’s spent the last 10 Halloweens dressed as Cartman.

A guy who, when faced with the common task of choosing a password, can only come up with ‘butthole’ sounds like a good hire, doesn’t he?

Man, woman, or just a fan of Long Beach rap from 1993?

Positive visualization or whatever that shit’s called. This person is a reader of The Secret.

I think this is in the same vein (ha!) as the last one.

Just imagine the person who came up with this one. Just imagine that person. Now imagine hiring them.

Any password/email/AIM screenname with 69 in it means that person is TOTALLY down to pound/come in for a compelling second interview.

This was actually from David Lesar’s account. Egomaniacal, isn’t he?

Politics is everywhere these days!

Wait, people are using hate passwords for the first black president but not the most evil dude in history?

This is where I had to stop. Can you imagine the type of psychopath who, when getting ready to upload his work history to show off to the world, is thinking about satanic sex toys? And, holy god, what does it say about me for searching for it?

Follow Derek Mead on Twitter: @derektmead.

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