It’s 2015, but Windows 93 is finally ready.
Your new favorite operating system is here and it’s weird as hell. The browser-based OS makes us thirst for what could’ve been if Microsoft didn’t skip between Windows 3.X and Windows 95.
The fully clickable “OS” greets users with the Playstation 1 bootup sound signaling they’re about the trip into an alternate universe. The first version of Windows 93 went up in October, but its creator posted on Reddit last night that it’s finally complete.
True to its origin, it did crash a few times. I finally got it running and this is what I found:
Good luck forgetting the Hampster Dance song again. Hidden in the Demos folder in the Programs tab, the internet’s first viral fad is there in all of its GIF glory, complete with a loop of its headache-inducing keyboard music.
There’s porn. As someone on Reddit found, dig deep in the Images folder of the C:/ drive to find the boobs. It’s the internet after all.
Yes, it’s unstable just like every other Windows OS. Click on the aptly named “Corglitch” program on the desktop and it will fuck with your computer, forcing you to perform a reboot, er, browser refresh, to get things back to normal. Just like a real Windows machine!
It talks to you, too. Click the Speech program on the desktop and type in a word (I did “fart”) and the program will say it any retro voice you desire.
The internet can be lonely a place, so the creators were nice enough to include a virtual girl named Lisa. She doesn’t do anything risque besides standing there, but it’s nice to know we have a friend.
It also has an 8-bit version of Solitaire called Solitude. Since it really works, there’s a real chance you’ll lose just like I did—twice. :(
And there’s so much more, so good luck with your work productivity.