The VICE Channels

    Art by Surian Soosay


    u wont remember dying

    Written by Russell Nichols

    In recent years, the Black Lives Matter movement has successfully pushed racial inequality and police brutality onto the national stage. Depressingly, institutional change has yet to follow suit. Here, afrofuturist writer Russell Nichols imagines a future where advanced technology—not social change—ushers in a controversial response to the epidemic of racial violence.

    Mar 20, 11:13 PM

    u wont remember dying

    sed the post-mortem counselor

    he sed u will get flashes tho deja vu type shit phantom pain

    where the nitestick broke my ribs, a punch 2 the gut, etc

    more like pieces of a faded dream he sed

    scenes from a movie u saw when u were little but cant remember what its called so u cant check 2 c if its real or not but whatever

    man they aint got no good movies here only a foldup vr mask 2 make u think ur lying on a beach not on a damn hospital bed

    somebody left behind this ripped book by sum oldass white dude named walt whitman looking like a smoked out santa

    damn i hope i dont die of boredom b4 the transfer in 3 days

    i cant believe im here

    its almost midnite i should b sleep rite now but i cant

    if i couldnt sleep the counselor told me 2 “text myself”

    meaning u

    the man says im in shock and he thinks im depressed haha

    i told him i aint depressed im fuckin dying; but he sed texting u mite help me b positive

    ne thing 2 take my mind off getting shot

    Mar 21, 9:42 AM

    im all alone again

    the fam just left 2 grab breakfast

    i cant lie its weird af texting u cuz im texting my future self

    on sum real time travel shit

    they say ur long-term memories should kick in by wk 2

    but u wont remember dying

    i was just tryna get to the movies

    minding my own

    the shot!

    doc sed u mite hear auditory hallucinations, echoes of the shot or that pig screaming in ur ear or sirens

    like u kno when u feel ur cell vibrating in ur pocket but nobody called?

    but u wont feel the actual bullet go thru ur head

    lucky u

    but the doc who did the ct scan told me the damage coulda been 100x worse if the bullet exploded or bounced around in my skull fuckin my brain tissue all the way up

    if my glasgow coma scale was under 7 i couldnt do the direct transfer but i was conscious enough

    he sed my number was 10

    if i was in a coma they woulda had 2 animate u using my last backup from over a yr ago

    moms damn near crashed when she found out i aint backed up in a yr

    she sed all 3 of us -- me nick and lionel -- shoulda been backing up once a month and me being 15 and the oldest need to “do better”

    my man spiders pops signed him up during 1st NR enrollment

    he went 2 the clinic on san pablo every tues after school 2 do his memory upload

    u wont meet spider tho

    he killed himself last july


    yo i think the sedatives kicking in bruh

    starting 2 c double

    that bullet really glitxhed me up good flew up thru my rite brain then straight out

    a "thru-and-thru" doc called it

    my bodys killing me i can text wit my rite hand but i cant talk

    Mar 21, 7:26 PM

    guess whos back

    the fam just left 4 dinner cuz they cant take this hospital 4mula shit

    doc called this “a blend of superfoods liquified 4 max absorption” haha i sed max absorption my ass this slop look regurgitated like a mf

    doc gave me sumthin called a memory inhibitor 2 block everything since i got here yesterday so u wont remember none of this

    cuz it would b 2 fuckin traumatic

    lucky u

    ne way im bored aint nuthin else 2 do no movies and my eyes hurt 2 much and vr makes my head hurt so

    who the fuck walt whitman think he is? i sing the body electric? wtf like a robot sing-a-long

    all he writes is flowers and trees and happy springtime shit

    heres a pic:


    on the back theres a big quote that says "[Whitman] is America” and im like what america

    yo i did watch that New Reconstruction documentary earlier

    u believe its been 3 yrs?

    98% success rate so thats good but its only been 12 transfers so far

    u make 13

    but dont worry bruh its anonymous now

    it was causing a media circus @ 1st wit all the hour specials and daytime talk interviews and late show bs wit the hosts asking stupidass questions:

    "do u still hav a birthmark?"

    wtf is up wit this country?

    1 network tried 2 set up a reality show but the feds shut that down quick saying it would send the "wrong message"

    they didnt say nuthin else but we all knew "wrong message" was code 4 "anti-police message"

    spiders pops sed "its good these black kids get 2 come back 2 life but @ the same time they shouldnt b getting killed by no fascist cops in the 1st place and best believe they just gonna end up shot again if the real problem aint dealt wit

    i cant argue wit that

    i cant argue @ all

    i cant even talk

    i cant feel my left leg and i gotta wear a fuckin bib cuz i keep drooling

    yo the boys will freak out when they c u tho

    actually i take that back lionel mite take a minute 2 adapt but nick wont

    since moms told him about NR little homie been on his research grind

    moms sed all day he been on them $1m words talking bout "re-con-sti-tute" and "con-scious-ness"

    matter fact just this morning nick let me hear his science report

    i recorded him since i kno u wont remember this

    here check out this vid:

    ["Dolly was a female sheep, the first animal to be cloned from an adult cell. Back in the 1990s, scientists in Scotland used a cell from another sheep's mam-ma-ry gland to create Dolly. In female mammals, mam-ma-ry glands are where the milk comes from. And where the word mammal comes from, too. For this project, I will be—"]

    he told me he got a B+ cuz his 5th grade teach sed he left out how dolly was put down b4 she turned 7 from lung disease

    nick had me dying; he was like "i dont c y thats a big deal cuz if she could b cloned once, she could b cloned again so it didnt matter if she died"

    i asked him if my life mattered

    he sed "ur life matters but death dont matter cuz u can keep coming back as many times as u want"

    i wanted 2 tell him it didnt work that way that aint what i meant but i was drifting in and out cuz this was rite after they gave me the memory inhibitor so i just told him dont ever take life 4 granted

    he sed "no doubt" then took his B+ like a man and sed he would “do better next time”

    i sed me 2

    Mar 21, 11:58 PM


    i cant sleep

    its on me i never shoulda read this damn whitman again

    check this 1 out:

    idk wtf he on but it got me thinking bout my man spider

    i wonder what he was thinking b4 he shot himself

    i remember he used 2 say he didnt want the pigs having power over him

    he sed shit like that all the time:

    "the whole recon programs a setup giving those appointed 2 'serve and protect' free rein 2 fire @ will"

    "the american dream is santa claus 4 grownups"

    "2 b born black in america is a death sentence"

    the bullet went in but never came out

    @ the funeral his pops sed he was battling severe depression

    yo i knew spider all my life and i kno fa sho he ain’t hav no depression

    wtf is depression ne way? u either alive or dead

    aint no inbetween

    now spiders gone but im still here

    holding on by a thread

    Y U???

    y u get to live when everybody else keep dying?

    y u so lucky?

    moms sed its gods will but idk that dont make sense 2 me but im scared 4 u bruh

    straight up all that pressure u gonna feel

    2 make ur life matter

    2 show u deserve a 2nd chance

    2 prove u alive for a reason

    everybody gonna c rite thru u call u a fake a phony

    a scarecrow

    a black body without a brain

    theyll b like “that nigga aint real”


    i should just pull the plug rite now

    save u the trouble

    i dont deserve to come back to life

    but i dont wanna b inbetween

    Mar 22, 5:02 AM

    yo disregard those texts from last nite i was on sum other shit

    ne way 2days transfer day

    in 3 hrs u will b here

    in the flesh

    and ill b history

    guess im supposed 2 say sumthin uplifting but im losing my mind

    and my bodys killing me

    everythings dark


    i feel like im drooling my life away

    hell tbh i dont kno how 2 b positive

    lets c if mr fuckin america got ne jewels 2 drop


    yo that 1 kinda works tho

    but still u and i kno it aint the whole truth

    and if u dont remember nuthin else remember this:

    whitman aint america

    whitman aint real

    i am/u r