'Trail to Old Stump' Is Like 'Oregon Trail,' But Bloodier

As a tie-in for Seth MacFarlane's western comedy A Million Ways to Die in the West, Adult Swim is hosting an 8-bit game called Trail to Old Stump. Gamers lead a pack of sheep, and spend a good amount of time slaughtering buffalo for their pelts, and battling illnesses such as typhoid and bacterial infections caused by splinters.

A bit like Oregon Trail meets Atari games like Donkey Kong and Frogger, Trail to Old Stump is (apparently like MacFarlane's movie) really about death, though it does mix annihilation with the 8-bit world's typically cheerful synth soundtracks.

My team, led by the cowgirl Brunhilde, and backed by Pip, Sharkdicks (sharks have two penis-like sexual organs), Goocher, and Ken, one by one succumbed to the Grim Reaper's scythe. Pip was the first to depart, by way of a splinter infection, which eventually took down Ken as well. A mountain lion dismembered Goocher, then Sharkdicks fell to the typhoid, while Brunhilde couldn't figure out how to evade a careening mine cart.

This wasn't the only death in Trail to Old Stump. I systematically drowned half of my flock of sheep in two Frogger-esque river crossings, while wolves and my very own bullets picked off the remainder. The last two sheep were taken by some rustlers, who declared, "All your sheep are belong to us." Who was I to argue?

Throughout all of this, I spent a good deal of my time slaying bison for their pelts, which I sold at some general store. At first, it was difficult to kill just one buffalo, but by the end I was bringing down four or five a pop on frequent hunting expeditions—which is an apt metaphor for Manifest Destiny, is it not?

Mostly, though, I was rather inept at the game. Yet, in spite of this, Trail to Old Stump is a good laugh.