FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Tech

​The Strangest Things You Can Buy on Amazon’s 3D Printing Store

Just imagine, in a few short years you could have your own made-to-order sunglasses-wearing dog head delivered to you by an Amazon drone.

Amazon just became the latest company to sell customizable 3D-printed products with its newly-opened 3D printing store. Just imagine, in a few short years you could have your own made-to-order sunglasses-wearing dog head delivered to you by an Amazon drone, if the technology ever gets approved by the feds.

Amazon's new store offers a ton of mostly gimmicky 3D-printed trinkets, including toys, jewelry, phone cases, and home decor. Shoppers can customize their orders to spec with their choice of colours, image overlays, and styles. If nothing else, it's an interesting development in 3D printing's journey to the mainstream of consumer production, made all the more interesting by the weird shit you can buy.

Advertisement

Seriously, there's a lot of oddball junk on the store. Among the comparatively predictable products like custom phone cases and earrings are some truly bizarre offerings. Here's the weirdest of the bunch.


This sunglasses wearing dog sculpture

Who can honestly say they haven't dreamed of hanging  a giant dog head in their kitchen or den? Maybe above the bed for when things get intimate? Now, imagine that dog is wearing sunglasses. Welcome to your new life, dawg. You're about to seriously impress—or, more likely, freak out—whoever is unlucky enough to go home with your weird ass.


A $66 decorative egg cup

The one and only customer review for this bafflingly expensive trinket sums it up:

"Ten years ago, I wouldn't have known how the equivalent of 66 cents of robot s*** could be transformed into $66.

Now I do."


The miniature bird mask from your nightmares

You can now bring your  feverish nightmares to life with the power of 3D printing. The only thing more mysterious than this thing's reason for existing at all is why it costs $125. Is there an internet subculture that fetishizes tiny colourful bird masks that look like they spent too much time in the hot sun that I'm not aware of? On second thought, I don't want to know.


A giant T-Rex head made of solid brass

I don't even have anything snarky to say about  this. It transcends criticism. It's a giant dinosaur head made of metal.

I have no idea why you'd want this, but if you do and can shell out the cash, more power to you.

Advertisement

An Oedipal paperweight that looks like it's plotting your grisly demise

I actually understand this one, in theory at least. It's a  paperweight; a harmless decoration that bored office drones put on their desk to make their days just a little less soul-crushing. What I don't understand is why anyone would want something that looks like it's thinking some very, very bad thoughts while it stares at you all day long. The item's description says it's supposed to be a "content" and "mothery" giraffe, but it looks more lecherous and murderous than soothing. Don't even get me started on what Freud would say about this. And it could be yours for just $111.65 plus shipping.

The most striking thing about Amazon's 3D printing store—besides the freaky figurines and decorative animal heads—is the prices. One of the most-hyped aspects of 3D printing is its cost-effectiveness compared to traditional manufacturing methods, but it remains to be seen whether those savings will be passed on to consumers. The sellers themselves seem to think so, anyway.

"When you take into consideration the investment needed for manufacturing products, 3D printing offers a cost effective alternative that benefits customers by limitless product options," said Clément Moreau, CEO of Sculpteo, one of Amazon's 3D vendors, in a statement.

For now, it seems like Amazon's 3D printing store is trading mostly in high-priced gimmickry, but the technology is still new, and this is just the beginning, according to the company.

"The introduction of our 3D Printed Products store suggests the beginnings of a shift in online retail—that manufacturing can be more nimble to provide an immersive customer experience," said Petra Schindler-Carter, Director for Amazon Marketplace Sales.

As 3D printing develops into a viable large-scale manufacturing alternative and more high-profile vendors take up its banner, we could see larger, more complex—and hopefully more useful—products being made to order, and perhaps even served up by friendly drones.