The 'Basic Bitch' Will Never Die

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The 'Basic Bitch' Will Never Die

Michael Kors may be tanking, but the internet will make sure that 'basic' lives on forever.

"Basic Bitches represent a booming multi-billion dollar industry. They are the highest-spending mindless consumer demographic in the history of mankind."
-a CNBC Business Insider Darren Rovell Fortune video content piece

News hit this week that Michael Kors stocks are TANKING, and it seems as though the paradigm of basic may be shifting. 'Basic' individuals (referred to on the internet as 'bitches') no longer want to buy MK bags at MK stores at their local 'high end' malls in the affluent fringes of suburbia. The basic community may no longer see the Michael Kors handbag and aviator sunglasses as the perfect complement to their Starbucks mini pumpkin spice frappucino and Taylor Swift album. They've lost the ability to 'trick' the entire world into believing that they live a 'jetsetter lifestyle' now that the market is oversaturated with Michael Kors availability.

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It seems like just yesterday, the internet began shaming 'basic bitches,' the consumer group of women and men who enjoy widespread commercial trends without shame. Their love for what they love is transparent, making them seem inauthentic to those who are remotely self-aware enough to question the formation of their own interests. "Basic" was added to the derogatory term "bitches" in order to separate them from the equally simple "bro." Whether you are a bro or a basic bitch, you just can't help being into what you're into even though it is exactly what you're supposed to be into.

It's a sad day for MK bag & accessory owners who don't read business news slam pieces, because they don't know that everything has changed. MK initials on most every Michael Kors handbag may no longer carry the same 'cultural' cache as they did just two years ago.

How did the MK bag thing even happen?

I don't know how Michael Kors 'got big', but if I had to guess, it would be because Middle Americans saw Michael Kors, the human being, and liked his sassy personality on the Lifetime reality show Project Runway. Since I am not a Michael Kors bag owner, I cannot confirm nor deny that his bags with "MK" on them are some sort of disruptive technology that changed the entire bag industry. I haven't heard of an infinite portal of storage existing within the bags. All I know is that the ppl who are 'proudest' to be carrying around an obnoxious bag have been Michael Kors bag owners for the past ~2 years.

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From what I understand, there is a billion dollar industry of creating bags in which women can put things inside of. Women have a multitude of accessories and necessities which they must lug around with them in order to stay beautiful. Online retailing and brick and mortar locations help to sell the trendiest version of 'basic' as the demand for any product reaches basic markets.

'Official reports' note that Michael Kors has failed to sustain growth rates in the handbag sector and hasn't really done anything notable with watch sales, but let's not mistake what's really happening: basic bitches want a different brand of basic. The trend is over. The basic consumer group doesn't want to buy any more crap with MK on it. The search for a new realm of basic may have already begun.

This isn't a new problem in 'the world of fashion.' Brands must navigate between the perception of 'luxury' and 'affordability' in order to reach the basic masses of the world. Michael Kors, like COACH before them, seemed to have mastered the ability to trick those in the affordable market into believing that they were affluent customers, showcasing their life of luxury. Eventually, the massive growth leads to oversaturation. Basic humans no longer feel 'special' about the luxury brand accessory that they purchased.

Are there really downsides of being branded with Starbucks frappucinos, Buzzfeed quizzes, and Instagram selfies as "the handbag of the basic bitch era"?

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Let's face it--it pays to have a basic target market. This means that no one actually questions many of the ethical problems with manufacturing products and selling them. Nothing is being misrepresented in the process of marketing the product to the masses. The basic consumer just wants to appreciate a product without wondering how or why it got in their hands. Who cares about leather goods, sweatshops, free range, sustainable solutions and carbon footprints?

A basic brand is easy to interpret, held with the same regard as legacy brands to basic humans.

Basic bitches and bros love logos and letters. The ability to identify brands makes them feel like they can truly speak American. They love the letters CC, therefore they love Chanel. They love LV, therefore they love Louis Vuitton. Michael Kors was the greatest reduction to two letter fashion names in the past two years.

The basic bitch is the most satisfiable consumer. Basic brands must remain excited to satisfy them.

They must continue to push the limits of just what society AND the internet define as 'basic' if they want to stay alive. They must not rest upon what basic is today, but instead look to bring new thoughts, ideas, and obvious to the basic forefront. While the MK motif may be on the way out, perhaps the perfect hint of Kendra Scott color schemes can be a visionary revelation into the tastes of the next wave of basic bitches.

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Can the industry of basicness really disappear?

Retail fashion is the art of appealing to the tastes of the basic bitch. The genius behind a human like Michael Kors (and/or the team of designers) is their vision in crafting a universally accepted aesthetic of basic. One that basic consumers all over the world can adopt. This isn't the tech sector where functional obsolescence dooms a service. Basic audiences want to be swayed, feeling re-invented when committing to their next purchase.

Basic bitches enjoy advertisements entering their stream. They can't tell the difference between sponsored content and media posturing, and they don't care. This is a massive advantage in the seasonal re-branding of fashion retailers. Manipulating the information channels of the basic bitch can help a brand like Michael Kors grow at a rapid pace, but the same magic must be used to carve out a new basic image.

Don't just give up on the basic marketplace. They are the genuine lover of trends, willing to share them with friends and family by means of not just social media, but the ultimate basic bitch recommendation tool: consumer envy.

What's next for the basic bitch?

Up until now, basic bitches have loved the names of popular fashion brands. They rally around the identity of one human designer's name like Marc Jacobs, Kate Spade, Steve Madden, and Tory Burch. They swap out these brands when the time (and the price) is right. But what happens if basic markets no longer want to purchase their identity?

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What if #MillenialBasics want to create their own identity? [via generational desires] Artisan lifestyles and luxury crafting pose a HUGE threat to the luxury accessory industry as more humans than ever are buying mason jars for household and fashion needs.

Some say that Pinterest is the ultimate cultural incubator for 'basicness.' The over-branded, marginally useful bookmarking system provides the perfect window into the world of the basic internet browser (also referred to as a 'bitch' on the internet). 'Artisan' might be the basic bitch's ultimate fight for self-expression. Creating totes out of burlap might be the #sustainable solution to prevent a basic bitch from overspending on an over-branded bag with initials all over it.

Whether it is macarons, mason jars, or hand-crafted anything, contemporary conformism is a huge threat to the luxury brands of yesteryear. After too much HGTV and Pinterest, the appeal of locally crafted artisan goods might be creating the fulfilling crafting experience that all basic bitches have been craving.

Embrace your human needs to understand the most basic needs.

What society and the internet considers basic will continue to change, but brands like Michael Kors must see their mission as performing an act of public service to the underserved basic community. Remember, Michael Kors growth has slowed, but this doesn't mean that they can find a way to remain the preferred pseudo-luxury brand of the basic bitches. As the first brand to run an Instagram ad in 2013, I have a feeling that they know exactly how to remain relevant in the eyes of basic markets.

Whether or not Michael Kors can rediscover the zeitgeist of basic does not matter. Some one will find it, reducing the artisan desires of the next generation of basic bitches into a million dollar brand. Whether it involves logos, initials, or #HACKED mason jars, the evolving basic consumer identity will live forever deep within every member of the global economy.

Carles.Buzz is the fallen content farmer behind HIPSTER RUNOFF. Read more Life on the Content Farm here.