Pump Up Your Links With This Useless URL Enlarger

What are the hallmarks of a social media try-hard? Superfluous hashtags taking up a chunk of those precious 140 characters are a good indicator of someone afflicted with The Thirst, and cloying mentions are another.

But there is an even more subtle, more sure, mark of the retweet chaser: the shortened URL. Thankfully, there's now the the Useless URL Enlarger, built by Twitter user Loud Njrt to make sure all your tweets give off the perfect "I just don't give a heck on the net" vibe.

Hear me out. The simple fact that someone with a Bit.ly link in their tweet took the extra time to shorten the URL shows that they're putting work into their tweets for purely aesthetic purposes. And what is that aesthetic? Shortened URLs look more clean, the URL-shorteners say, like a tweet that their favourite brand account might send (where this actually makes sense for analytics purposes). This is not a good look.

With the Useless URL Enlarger, there's finally a tool for you to show that you not only don't give a shit about shortening your links so they can look pretty next to a big colour photo, but that you are aggressively battling the status quo.

Now, if you want to share this *brandhack* without looking like an asshole, you can share this handy dandy, totally impractical link:

http://012.3456789-abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvw.xyz/SYPGoHlDvpmpfBc4j4VRsy3wQTI4BjEOg1OHHqXwtt8R10xmB65ZtvBcbJc1iL3hBVh4WwRhDDuCvKAdiIvTkS4qEXjHn6BkR3GwddVk5XUfaA1PciNvkAM01rc2yy6PpMAJlIFDyPy6152V2Se2NuQzdJD2aFpKUTunnEbewXWGhaGGi3mOwMrN7YDSgFPzFxZbPZWX

May The Thirst be quenched.