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It's Not Too Late To Vote For Vermin Supreme

Fuck it, vote for the man that matter.

Presidential election coverage—the whole season—twists the intricate threads of the human mind into a Gordian knot of unworkable frustration. It’s almost as if every four years the hardened, brittle finger of a monkey’s paw is bent palmwards, activating a bitter wish to empower human animals to reduce massively complex issues into tweets and/or status updates; for the television to flicker its pointless minutia, which shrinks the pupils of our whelmed and weary eyes, while what’s left of Ben Franklin’s skeleton spins furiously somewhere six feet below Christ Church Burial Ground.

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If you don’t know who to vote for today, Vermin Supreme wants you to try him. If you’re completely at a loss for who you think would be the better president, Vermin Supreme wants you. If you weren’t planning to vote at all, vote for the tireless New Hampshire presidential candidate Vermin Supreme. He’s a meme after all.