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‘Donald Trumpchain’ Wants to Make Bitcoin Great Again

The blockchain is gonna be yuge.

Even for seasoned veterans of bitcoin's near-constant stream of insane bullshit, the latest debate over the cryptocurrency's future has grown outsized and out of hand.

Who better to enter the discussion than the king of being yuge himself, Donald Trump?

Or, rather, a remarkably on-point parody Twitter account called "Donald Trumpchain" that mashes up unmistakably Trumpian outbursts with commentary on what's come to be known as the "block size debate."

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Basically, one group of bitcoin users wants to change the currency's code to scale up the whole system for worldwide adoption, while the other wants to keep things more or less the same. At stake is the size of the digital blocks of bitcoin transactions that get uploaded to the blockchain in order to be completed—they're filling up, and as a result the fees that people pay to have their transactions included in a block are climbing, and some users are reporting long wait times.

If you're wondering, Donald Trumpchain is firmly in the anti-block size increase camp, and he believes longtime bitcoin developer Gavin Andresen, who initially proposed the block size increase, is a "lightweight," and a "choker."

I made that statement very strongly, years ago, that China is using nuclear weapons to mine bitcoins.
— Trumpchain (@trumpchain) March 3, 2016

Core developers have let us down. We have a failed blockchain. Believe me, it doesn't help us. Okay? Trust me.
— Trumpchain (@trumpchain) March 3, 2016

Funny that Satoshi(!) didn't want help from his family in his failed bitcoin wallet and didn't even want to use his last name.
— Trumpchain (@trumpchain) February 18, 2016

Just like the real Donald Trump, it's pretty tough to say for certain whether the person behind the account really believes everything they're saying about their stance on the block size issue. The account could easily not just be a piss-take on Trump himself, but also the rabidity of some corners of the bitcoin community.

After all, now that the inane cheese golem has gone on live TV to talk about how big his dong is, he's hardly a flattering figurehead to be compared to.