The Science of Blacking Out

Today's the big day for the web's ongoing SOPA protest. Wikipedia, Reddit, and countless other websites are voluntarily shutting themselves down to bring awareness to the massive Internet censorship issues posed by SOPA and PIPA. But what about the rest of us? Turning off one's struggling personal blog for a day isn't exactly newsworthy, and the big guys risk a day's loss of traffic and potential SEO penalties.

So what else is there to do on this holiday of protest blackouts? Now, I would never encourage it because it's dangerously unhealthy, but I've heard of a few souls planning on saddling up around bottles of cut-rate tequila and having a blackout protest of a different color (but still black). Fighting the man or not, let me reiterate that drinking until your brain is Wikileaking out of your ears isn't particularly good for you. (I'm reminded of a former intern who had a habit of waking up bleeding in random apartment buildings.) But because you're likely going to do it anyway, let's talk about the science.

A long-held sudsy theory is that an alcohol-induced blackout is at least partially due to booze literally killing brain cells. This is where that ridiculous, half-joking theory about liquor and buffalo herds come from: Getting schlitterbombed kills off the weak brain cells, which, like predators preying on the weak, makes the overall group stronger and smarter. Goofball as that is, the idea that blackouts are caused by alcohol-related brain damage is incorrect. That's not to say that you couldn't damage your brain from being seriously blackfaded, and it's not my position to say that drinking would never kill brain cells. But that's not the root cause of a blackout.

Research from the Washington University School of Medicine from last year suggests that boozing instead inhibits intra-brain communication. In a report published July 6, 2011 in The Journal of Neuroscience, researchers shared findings that alcohol actually interferes with important brain receptors. This interference causes the receptors to produce steroids that then block long-term potentiation (LTP), the brain process by which neural connections are strengthened and memories are made.

In basic terms, by getting smashed you set off a chemical cascade in your brain that specifically inhibits the formation of memory, rather than grenading your brain processes all willy-nilly.

The receptors in question seem to affect with synapses in the hippocampus, the part of the brain that's key to cognitive function. Lead author Kazuhiro Tokuda, along with Yukitoshi Izumi and Charles Zorumski, exposed the hippocampal cells of rats to varying amounts of alcohol. Very high concentrations limited the hippocampus's synaptic plasticity, a term that refers to how synapses' ability to change.

This plasticity is key to all neural communication. What the researchers found is that alcohol's effect on synaptic plasticity seems to especially affect the LTP memory-forming process. So while a roaring drunk might still be able to talk and walk – albeit with a slur and a shuffle, as alcohol affects numerous synaptic processes – his ability to form memories may be completely blocked.

"It takes a lot of alcohol to block LTP and memory," Zorumski said. "But the mechanism isn't straightforward. The alcohol triggers these receptors to behave in seemingly contradictory ways, and that's what actually blocks the neural signals that create memories. It also may explain why individuals who get highly intoxicated don't remember what they did the night before."

Boozing that results in actual brain damage would likely also come with a coma or death. But someone in the middle of a blackout could still be dancing, defeating Gmail's Mail Goggles feature, or even driving a car (don't do that). So, instead of dropping scorched Earth tactics on your brain, those last four shots of John Powers are affecting you at a more localized, chemical level.

"Alcohol isn't damaging the cells in any way that we can detect," Zorumski said. "As a matter of fact, even at the high levels we used here, we don't see any changes in how the brain cells communicate. You still process information. You're not anesthetized. You haven't passed out. But you're not forming new memories."

But just because blackouts don't necessarily indicate permanent brain damage doesn't mean you should be going out and getting thunderpermed with reckless abandon. Drinking that heavily comes with a whole host of other problems and risks, and there's the simple fact that dropping tons of cash to party is a real waste if you can't remember any of it. Plus, it's really hard to pick up chicks and dudes when you're falling all over yourself.

On the other hand, I can't exactly stop you from fighting the good fight against Internet censorship and those clowns in Hollywood at your neighborhood voodoo bar tonight. If you do, here's the recipe for a protest-inspired drink:

In shot glass, layer:

1/2 oz. Jagermeister
1/2 oz. Black Velvet
1/2 oz. Cuervo Black
Float of Bacardi 151

Take your black-as-night shot, light it on fire to signify the fight against web oppression, and bomb it into a pint of Guinness. On this day of saying no to SOPA, there's no drink more blacked out.