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Buying Naming Rights to Mars Craters Is Like Naming Money as You Burn It

You’re paying to be told that you own something in outer space.
Image: NASA Goddard Space Flight Center/Flickr

You need to own a crater on Mars like you need a hole in the ground. In fact, paying someone for property in space—be it a lot on the Moon, or an Earth-sized tract of the universal vacuum—is fun, but sort of a dead end. If land on the Moon ever becomes useful, I doubt Space-Exxon is going to check with Moonestates.com to see if it’s okay to drill there. You’re paying to be told that you own something in outer space.

In that vein, you can pay Uwingu for the privilege of naming a crater on Mars. Your name for the crater goes on their map and their map only; but your proceeds from your donation go into the Uwingu Fund, which provides “grants to scientists, educators, and others around the world to conduct valuable space exploration, research, and education projects." So it's still not going to be an internationally recognized name, but your money goes towards space exploration—via a for-profit LLC, mind you, not a non-profit—outside of NASA and its dwindling funding.

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People are preparing to go to Mars by living in the Arctic for a year, and finding space pioneers for the early one-way trips, but you know what's being ignored? Toponymy. Imagine giving someone directions on Mars—"After Olympic Mons take a right, and we're in between the big crater and the even bigger one. If you hit an ice cap you've gone too far." Names make the place.

Uwingu says there are 500,000 unnamed craters on Mars, in addition to the 15,000 craters that have been named by the International Astronomical Union, which have been grandfathered onto Uwingu’s maps. Prices start at five dollars for a “Ranger” level crater—just a wee one—and go up to $10,000 for the privilege of naming an entire Martian province, after yourself, your significant other, your hometown, pet, or whatever as long as it isn’t “profane, pejorative, or otherwise offensive.” So, “Crater I Hardly Know Her!” is a go, one presumes.

Where your crater name would appear. Screengrab: Uwingu

As with many outer-space naming organizations, you’re mostly making a donation to a fund and getting something that may or may not ever be recognized outside of Uwingu. The organization notes in the FAQ that their maps aren’t used outside of the site yet, “but soon, we hope, scientists and space missions to Mars will be using these maps too.” To say that's "probably not going to happen" is a bit optimistic.

For its part, the IAU has given Uwingu heat for its exoplanet naming contest in the past, which is understandable, given that the IAU "has been the arbiter of planetary and satellite nomenclature since its inception in 1919." In its statement about Uwingu, the IAU noted that no matter what Uwingu gives you, telling you you've named an exoplanet, "such certificates are misleading, as these campaigns have no bearing on the official naming process — they will not lead to an officially-recognised exoplanet name, despite the price paid or the number of votes accrued."

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The IAU not only has procedures for naming exoplanets, it also has procedures for how planetary features—including craters—are named, which specify that naming things is for scientific purposes, not fun for the public. Uwingu recognizes IAU names, but don't expect that to be reciprocated.

But Uwingu's raison d'être is to run counter to government-funded space establishment. Dr. Alan Stern, who brings NASA pedigree to the company left NASA after a budget dispute with Mike Griffin, NASA's chief.

Uwingu has a cheerful, modest optimism, which is pretty disarming. The Uwingu Fund, with money it has been collecting money through its to name exoplanets, has provided grants to organizations like “Astronomers Without Borders,” “The Purdue Multiethnic Introduction To Engineering (MITE) Academic Boot Camp,” and SETI’s Allen Telescope Array.

Are you really getting your name on something on Mars? It appears on a map along with a bunch of other names, so if that counts, then yes. If not, then you're making a small donation to Uwingu, that pays out after they cover expenses. If that strikes you as a mischaracterization of getting to name something on Mars, it's probably not worth it. If you want to drop $10K for province on Mars, there's almost definitely someone who will sell you a bridge here on Earth and one on Mars for that price.

Maybe you or someone you know will one day set foot in a crater that you helped name http://t.co/B5l7R5INLV @spacewriter

— Uwingu (@UwinguSky) February 28, 2014

My plan is name one after Mario Lopez’s dimples, calling it AC Crater, just as soon as I get the $5,000 needed to pay for an Apollo-class crater that's worthy of the association.