'Bathroom Simulator' Is a Gross Game

​It's 2015, you want to be a rock? Heyyy be a rock, modern techn​ology's got you covered! Want to simulate being on a boat in the middle of the ocean going nowhere? I hope you have a​n Ouya! Want to simulate playing a simulator? Some​one made that, go live your dreams! Hey, where are you going? None of this speaking to you? Is the modern video game not GOOD enough for your standards? Well, say, what if you wanted to go doo doo and make wee wee all over the washroom, wherever you want, however you want? Then today is a very special day for you, you special soldier of freedom.

Meet Bathroom ​Simulator, a Kickstarter project asking for a whopping $800 to bring modern digital turds to your computer. In a variety of water closets, from your more pristine well-kept condo crapper to the dingy dimly lit subway toilet, you, the player, can deliver some justice. The Kickstarter page even promises a space toilet, the new frontier of poopy.

You can do your business the professional way, pooping in the toilet, peeing in the toilet, washing your hands, or you can go Dakar Rally and take this convoy wayyyy off-road. Thrash your turds around like soggy nunchaku, whipping them against the wall, the sink, the shower, spit in God's eye by just leaving a pile of them right next to the toilet bowl. You can make liquid gold wherever you want, spray against the wall until you stain it, marking your territory like it's a world of canvas-clean snow.

"Have you ever wanted to pick up your poop and throw it at the wall?" asks creators Elias Games, "No? Oh, well, we have. Quite a few times actually. Come to think of it, I think we've thought of doing that a lot more than we should have…. Anyways, Bathroom Simulator is the game where you can do that."

Now, you might be thinking, "I play video games, I have seen alternative turd usage in South Park 64, urinated on bystanders in Postal 2 and even tussled with a singing literal pile in Conker's Bad Fur D​ay." To which I say, "yeah, but that was a while ago, years, wake up."

While Elias' asking price may not seem like much, their stretch goals, which go into the thousands, promise improved graphics, Oculus support, and even versions for PlayStation and Xbox, assuming Sony and Microsoft's platforms can share their vision.

"The only challenges that have popped up are dealing with technological limitations," warned Elias. "Due to game engine technology today, not every aspect of a bathroom can be simulated realistically, primarily with things dealing with fluid simulations. Other than that, we are all pumped to see this ultimate simulator launch!"

As of the writing of this article, Bathroom Simulator is inching towards fifty bucks mark of their funding campaign, which actually is a decent chunk of their goal. "I know this is weird" wrote lone commenter William, "but I think i'll find joy in messing around in a bathroom hahaha. You got my support!"

Support on William, support on.