A Canadian Apology For the New @Canada Twitter Account

​At approximately 1:19 PM Eastern Standard Time an account, purporting to be the voice of the entire country of Canada, tweeted some uncharacteristically bold—and dare I say—unCanadian banter. @Canada proclaimed its intentions "to capture the interest of audiences beyond our borders" and cheekily hashtagged "#digitaldiplomacy," before tweeting further and explaining what the new account will be about.

As if the bizarreness of the account wasn't already getting things off on the wrong Canadian snowshoe, its next tweet went against the very heart of the Canadian character:

And then for good measure, @Canada took another national value and ran it through mud.

"@Canada does not apologize for this new Twitter account. #sorrynotsorry," said the third, and easily shittiest, tweet.

As a Canadian with not only my mandated inferiority complex and a revulsion for the American-style elitism exhibited above, I believe this Twitter account is a crime against Canada.

We can safely assume it's legitimate, because it has that nasty blue check mark of Twitter-approval next to it, but that hardly makes it legitimately Canadian. A national Twitter account? A quick search of Twitter reveals that not even the US of A stoops this low.

To openly parade Canada as the "best country in the world" at anything other than a good ol' game o' puck, is the most unCanadian thing one could do. Manners. Politeness. Too many apologies. These are the qualities that our beloved nation was built upon.

And coming from the government body representing us to the world—the account is operated by the Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade—and indeed, even parading as the entire amorphous space that is Canada, this is an amateur move that deserves some jobs to be lost, or heads to roll.

According to its website, which is linked to on the @Canada handle, "Foreign Affairs, Trade and Development Canada uses a variety of social media and digital tools to deliver timely and reliable information about its programs, policies and latest achievements."

But as an almost disclaimer for its anti-Canadian behavior, and to wipe its hands of scummy accounts staking a claim on the entire country, DFAIT said it "does not endorse any particular social media site or tool. Be sure to read our policies on general comments, copyright, and official languages."

Apparently, and if the minister of DFAIT is to be believed, this new @Canada account brings about an era of "digital diplomacy" as opposed to real diplomacy.

"We are promoting @Canada abroad as a nation of strong values, rich culture, beautiful landscapes and a dynamic economy. #DigitalDiplomacy," said the Honourable John Baird in another tweet, explaining that this account was one of 300 created by the department in order to promote Canada.

But if they're not going to do the right—and rightly Canadian—thing, I will. As a Canadian I am really, really, really, really sorry for an account so brazen as to consider this frozen wonderland, full of actual universal health care, delicious beer, and Avril Lavigne, the greatest nation of all.

We're not. We're Canada. We're really good and, like, awesome. Close to the best, maybe the best to some people, but you can never really say. You know? Like really good.