Nobody Wants the FCC to Allow Cell Phone Calls on Planes

Apparently the only thing worse than not being able to use their cell phones any time and any place is having to listen to the intimate and irritating conversations of other people within earshot. This is especially true if you're trapped in a confined space with your yammering neighbors, which is why a lot of people are hot pissed that the US wants to allow cell phone calls on airplane flights.

The Federal Communications Commission announced yesterday it will consider revising restrictions on in-flight wireless phone calls, citing research that shows wireless communication doesn't pose a safety risk, as we once thought. The current rules are "outdated and restrictive," the newly appointed FCC chairman Tom Wheeler said in a statement.

But while that may be true, just because we can talk on the phone above 10,000 feet in the air (takeoff and landing would still be restricted) doesn't mean we ought to. And with all the technological advances of the last few decades, we haven't yet innovated our way out of the plain fact that cell phones in public are super annoying.

The backlash has taken form in a slew of worst-idea-ever tweets, and reportedly thousands of emails to the FCC protesting the idea.

So much for unplugging and recharging at 10,000 feet: U.S. will consider allowing cellphone use on planes http://t.co/hf8KF8p0R3

— Arianna Huffington (@ariannahuff) November 21, 2013

Eventually an online petition went up on the White House's "We the People" site urging President Obama to talk to the commission and nip this thing in the bud. "Forcing [passengers] to listen to the inane, loud, private, personal conversations of a stranger is perhaps the worst idea the FCC has come up with to date. This would make an already cranky, uncomfortable travel experience exponentially worse."

As someone who lived a bi-coastal lifestyle for several years, I can attest to the fact that increasingly, flying sucks. You're crammed in incredibly close together (and people aren't getting any smaller), you have to pay for food and luggage, a baby always seems to be crying somewhere, and even when you try to read your highbrow magazine you wind up distracted by the latest B movie playing on neighbor's setback TV. It's not terribly surprising that frequent flyers wouldn't want to add ringtones, text message dings, and loud conversations to the mix.

In case you think I'm overstating the issue, look no further than 2004 when the commission previously considered allowing in-flight calls, and received 8,000 public comments opposing the plan, which was eventually thrown out.

Granted, since 2004—which incidentally is the same year the iPhone was introduced—people are actually talking on the phone less. Likely, the relaxed rules would more often lead to passengers emailing, texting, or instagramming the sunset out the right-side window. Could perhaps airlines OK the data connection and instate a rule against voice calls, like some buses do?

In fact, even if the FCC does approve the plan, airlines wouldn't be required to permit in-flight calls. It's up to them—which could lead to an odd future of weighing which airline to choose: "Virgin has the best cocktails, but JetBlue offers 'quiet flights.'" Already Southwest Airlines, JetBlue, and United have gone on record saying they would listen closely to customer feedback before making a decision on in-flight calls, and Delta announced it "would not allow voice communication in flight."

The reaction from the flight attendants union was more conclusive: In a statement yesterday the Association of Flight Attendants said that "any situation that is loud, divisive and potentially disruptive is not only unwelcome but also unsafe."

Other groups are in favor of the idea, namely—surprise—phone companies. It's worth noting that Wheeler, who supports the proposal, is a former telecom lobbyist and might see things with a more sympathetic eye toward the industry. As a wireless communications issue, the final decision rests with the FCC rather than the Federal Aviation Association. The commission will discuss the issue next month, at which point the next step will be to open it up for public comment.

Even if the public comments something along the lines of "Oh—please no," the ban stands a good chance of being lifted. Wireless calls are already permitted on many flights in Europe. And in our always-on society, it seems to be the way the tide is turning. Case in point, last month the FAA approved the use of electronic devices during takeoff and landing. While I for one relished the last 10 minutes left in life where you were forced to read or listen to music or—gasp—converse with a stranger instead of plugging into cyberspace, that decision was met by most with sky-high approval.