There aren't many positive aspects to the ritualistic dooming and glooming that leads up to every Olympics, but one is that, once the Games get going, everything pretty much hums along. The basic facts of life in Rio, and Brazil in general, will still be true. The bay will still be shit. People will still get mugged, some violently, others not. Some people will die in Rio over the next three weeks, but you'll only hear about it if they are in some way, shape, or form associated with the Olympic movement. Traffic will be very bad, and public transportation will be unreliable.
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The opening ceremonies will make you wonder what the fuck you just watched. We'll momentarily lose ourselves in the athletic genius of a select few, awestruck at their ability to displace water more rapidly than all other members of their species, or to throw a spear very far but at nothing and no one, because we are a loving species now despite all evidence to the contrary. Usain Bolt will run faster than any other human and most other mammals. No one will watch equestrian or shot put. More than one person will tune into hammer throwing and be very confused when they don't see any hammers. A terrible tragedy in archery will result in a jammed thumb. The marathon winners will have a mile pace twice as fast as the quickest mile you've ever run, which will make you feel fat, but luckily the next commercial break will be for McDonald's and Coca Cola. It'll be—NBC will breathlessly tell you how great it all is, how great we all are, how great America is, and you'll believe it despite all evidence to the contrary, because for a brief moment it is great, in a specific kind of nauseatingly awful way.—Aaron Gordon, VICE Sports staff writer and Olympics correspondent
Top Five Storylines for Rio 2016
- The dirty water. There isn't much else to say at this point: the water in Guanabara Bay is very, very dirtybecause the water there has been dirty for a very long time. In their bid for the Olympics, Rio's organizing committee promised to clean it up. They did not. We'll see how much this impacts the competitions, but their broken promise is about far more than whether sailors have to keep their mouths closed.
- The Zika excuse. If there was any sport that needed its stars to show up, it was golf, one of two new events to the Olympic program this year (rugby is the other). But the world's top four players have opted to stay home, citing Zika fears. Those fears have widely been dismissed as a convenient excuse; almost all female golfers eligible to participate will play, and it is winter in Rio so mosquitos are far less active. Meanwhile, in Florida, where many golfers have homes, Zika is just ramping up.
- The Russians. As you might have heard, Russia had a little problem with doping, so there won't be any Russians competing in track and field or weightlifting. More than 110 athletes have been banned as a result of an investigation that revealed a state-sponsored doping program. More than 300 Russian athletes are still expected to participate. Their performances will be heavily scrutinized.
- The Rio infrastructure. From the shoddy construction on the legacy bike lanethat killed two people, to the unfinished Olympic villages and the damaged sailing ramp, nobody seems to have much faith in the construction around the Rio Games. Here's hoping a stadium doesn't collapse with people inside.
- The refugee team. For the first time in Olympics history, a refugee team will compete in three events: athletics, judo, and swimming. Ten athletes from Syria, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and South Sudan will compete under the Olympic flag.
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Athletes to Watch
- Usain Bolt. He is the fastest man in the world. You should probably watch him.
- Michael Phelps. No matter how Phelps performs in Rio, he will retire as the most decorated Olympian of all time, with 22 medals and counting. He is 31 years old, and this will be his last Olympics in the pool. In Rio, Phelps will be participating in the 100- and 200-meter butterfly, and the 200-meter medley. Enjoy him while you can.
- Simone Biles. After winning three straight gymnastics world championships, this is Biles's first Olympics. She's the overwhelming favorite to win the gold medal in the all-around.
- Katie Ledecky. It's easy to forget Ledecky is only 19 years old. She is already one of the most accomplished American swimmers ever, with 11 world records and 15 gold medals at major international competitions. She will be competing in three individual races and one relay.
- Meb Keflezighi (marathon) and Bernard Lagat (track). If you want to feel bad about yourself, Team USA has two distance runners over 40 years old. Meb Keflezighi, 41, won silver at the Athens 2004 marathon and came in fourth in London. Bernard Lagat has a silver and a bronze from Sydney and Athens, respectively, in the 5000 meters.
- USA Women's 8 Rowing: Has won ten consecutive world titles. Ten.
- Leila, Liina, and Lily Luik. The three L's are triplets from Estonia, all competing in the women's marathon. They are thought to be the first set of identical triplets competing against each other in Olympics history.
- Caster Semenya. The favorite to win the women's 800-meter race, Semenya was only allowed to compete after the Court of Arbitration of Sport overturned a maximum testosterone level for females set by the IAAF. Her performance will surely spark a new round of debates about gender-testing athletes.
- Kim Rhode. Shooting doesn't get a lot of love in the Olympics, but Rhode is vying for her sixth medal—and fourth gold—in six Olympics.
- Yusra Mardini. A 17-year-old Syrian swimmer competing under the refugee team, Mardini and her sister kicked a small inflatable boat filled with a few dozen refugees for several hours to get from Turkey to Greece. She will be competing in the women's 100-meter freestyle and 100-meter butterfly.
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The Americans
Food & Drink
Ingredients
1 cup granulated sugar
2 ounces Créme de VioletteFor the cocktail:
2 ounces Avuá Prata Cachaça
1 ounce fresh strawberry purée, plus slices for garnish
3/4 ounces fresh lemon juice, plus slices for garnish
3/4 ounces violet syrup
Sparkling wine, to serve
Bachelor buttons, for garnish (optional)
Directions
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Security at the Games
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The Venues
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