Tobias Mullar and Simon HaehnalHave you heard of hiphouse? In the late 80s, hip-hop producers from Chicago basically invented a genre centred around excessive use of the āOoh! Yeah! loopā and that clip from Technotronicās āPump up the Jam.ā It had that kind of instructional dance vibe - āNow move to the left and stomp your feet, come on everybody letās groove to the beat!ā ā more suited to Will Smithās kidsā birthday parties than a warehouse rave. Most late 80s hiphouse is therefore really, really bad, even though some artists, like Queen Latifah, never failed to kick out the jams.But now hip-hop and house are remarrying in Berlin. There are more hip-hop producers moving into house and more house DJs remixing and sampling hip-hop tracks, like Lauhaus and Adana Twins. Londonās feeling the vibe too, with producers like Jamie Trench and Jesse Rose consistently proving that hip-hop + four-by-four beats = serious booty clapping.Andhim is a producer duo from Cologne with a background in hip-hop and a foreground in streamlined but party-proven āSuper Houseā that smashed the Sleepless stage at Melt! last weekend. Too goofy for a normal interview, we took the pair around the festival grounds to review the food situation and (at their request) the toilet situation too.FOOD STAND NUMBER ONE: INDIAN KITCHENNoisey: Is it annoying having a beard, Tobias? You keep getting your food stuck in it.Tobias: Ya sometimes, but otherwise Iād just get it on my skin.Yeah, Iāve been growing this bad boy for a while. [Referring to my stubble]Simon: Itās not a bad boy.It will be. One day.Simon: Itās a bad girl. You know, beards are the new black nowadays. And this is why we grow them, because Andhim is the new black.Andhim is the new black? I think maybe that should be the title of the article.Simon: Yes, why not? Itās a good title. Andhim: the new black. But we are white people. I donāt know if you noticed.I didnāt until you mentioned it.Simon: No because I know we are hip-hopish and we do all that scratching, but we are white actually.Would you say hip-hop is your main influence?Simon: It influenced our music in the beginning because we both started with hip-hop. But we have a lot of influences. Like coconut curry with rice. Veggie steak burgers.What do you think about the Indian food stand?Simon: I had the Indian vegetarian with potato and yellow curry with rice and yogurt and green pepper sauce which was hot, but not that hot and I love it. Itās so good. Iām tasting it right now. Because itās mmmfff.How are you handling all that spice so well?Simon: You know Iām used to eating spicy food because I used to live in a chilli factory with my dad who was a chilliā¦chilliā¦Tobias: A Chilli man.Simon: Like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.Your dad was in the Red Hot Chilli Peppers?Simon: He was one of the Chilli Peppers, a cover band of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.Oh, okay.Simon: And as a kid I had to eat a lot of chilli to prove I was worth it. Otherwise I had to feel his belt.Is anything about that story even remotely true?Simon: Everything.This morning a completely naked German guy with a horse puppet on his hand came up to me, grabbed his balls, and yelled āMelt my heart.ā Is that normal here?Simon: Yes it is. Indeed it is. This is fucking potato-ish.Whatās your final word on the Indian Kitchen food stand?Tobias: [Burps loudly]. Thatās our final word.FOOD STAND NUMBER TWO: 4K VEGGIE FOODWhat are you eating now?Tobias: I have no idea what it is. I usually donāt eat veggie burgers. Just because I donāt eat meat doesnāt mean I have to eat fake meat. Itās very weird. Itās not that good. Very salty.Simon, you seem to always be surrounded by women. Whatās your secret?Simon: Women? Just show your penis!Is that all it is?Simon: Itās the German way. Show your sausage. I have a small sausage.Does it hold you back?Simon: No. Not at all. I show pictures of Tobiās sausage and pretend that itās mine. I say āHey you wanna see more of it? Just follow me, come to my hotel room.āHow did you meet Tobias?Simon: At a sausage contest. A contest to see who has the bigger sausage.Whyād you enter with such a small sausage?Simon: Because Iām very self-confident. Itās all about your dreams. I dream of a big penis. I have a big bank account and a cool bicycle.Maybe you can order some penis-enhancement pills.Simon: Itās not safe. Iāve thought about it a hundred times.Me too. Not a day goes by where I donāt think āshould I get penis enhancement?āSimon: Every day. Every day.Is this your girlfriend?Simon: Yes.And are you happy with the sausage situation?Simonās girlfriend: Yeah, very happy.Simon: Ah, itās good to hear that my girlfriend likes my wiener!How awkward would it be if she said she didnāt? āHeās got a great personality butāāSimon: But his penis is stinky.Sure. That. So what is āSuper House?āSimon: Itās basically music that will make people feel more super than they already are. If you listen to one of our sets our main goal is to make you feel good and special and super so that you can go home with a smile and say āwow, I forgot all my sorrows and Iām just happy now.āIsnāt all house super, though?Simon: No, not at all. Only our house. No, of course thereās so much good music. But thereās a lot of shit. I mean check out the Beatport top 100 ā itās mainly shit.Since house has been reviving recently are you worried that itās going to get shitter?Simon: You know house is just a name. Of course we are not doing house music. House is very different in our opinion to what weāre doing. We thought it would be funny to give our style a name because we find all the other names ridiculous. When you ask DJs like āwhat kind of music do you playā and they respond āAh, its like a mixture of deep tech-house with a groovy Latin house influenceā¦ā Fuck all that. We say, āFuck you all, weāre doing Super House. This is what we do, donāt ask me anymore.āGenres are really annoying.Simon: Its ridiculous. Who gives a fuck. Look at the faces of the people on the dance-floor. They donāt give a fuck as long as itās good music. Nobody in the world gives a fuck about genre.FOOD STAND NUMBER THREE: ICE CREAM VAN(After our coconut curry rice and mystery veggie burgers, Simon and Tobias were too full to keep on eating, so we bought them an ice cream as a reward for behaving so well and headed down to the festival toilets to review those instead)Whatās your impression so far of the toilets at Melt! Festival?Tobias: Very, very clean.Simon: As always with festivals, the toilet situation is really bad. But weāre surprised that itās quite okay compared to other festivals because I had to throw up only two times while peeing. But now weāre fine. I think in the backstage itās fine, but there are no dixies so itās a total different situation.Are you completely comfortable using these toilets, especially after all that spicy food?Tobias: No no, I will be using the VIP toilets. But the dixies are very clean.Simon: Too clean for a festival.You like it to be a bit messy?Simon: Yeah, yeah. I also like to have sex in the Dixie.Great. Thanks, Andhim. Iām not sure if anything you said was true or made sense, but I enjoyed eating and pooping with you guys!Follow Matt on Twitter: @Matt_A_SheaRead more from Melt:Relax Guys, Disclosue Aren't Going to Ruin House Music
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