This Eiffel Tower-Themed Vibrator Made Me Scream, “OUI, OUI, BAGUETTE”

Listen, I’m not saying I want to hump the Eiffel Tower. There are plenty of other people out there who will, and they’re in some really cool documentaries on objectum sexuality. But I wouldn’t be opposed to looking over at my vibrator post-nut, and wondering if the reason it’s so good at sex is because it hails from the City of Light, salted butter, and romance. That’s where Frenchie’s sex toys come in. 

Appearances aside, Frenchie is actually an Australian sexual wellness brand, which means that all of its products, from condoms penis berets to intimacy wipes, lean into France’s reputation for combining l’amour and luxury in their product design, and include a heaping teaspoon of ‘G’DAY, MATE’ swag. Naturally, when I was offered the opportunity to try the brand’s Petit Eiffel vibrator, I was excited to discover what a sex toy version of the Dame de Fer would feel like. Would it be as hard as iron? Soft, and romantic? Multilingual? Would my cum make the shape of the Chanel double Cs? 

With nothing to lose and all the Os to gain, I charged up Frenchie’s marquee sex toy for a good time. 

You don’t always know what you’re going to get when you buy a sex toy online. I’ve fallen in love with plenty of elegantly styled vibrators on the web, only to hesitate when I find disappointing reviews reading, “sad. ordered dildo, got a milk frother.” (Kidding. Kind of.) So when Frenchie’s Eiffel Tower arrived in discreet packaging and its very own National Treasure-esque packaging, I was stoked:

I was impressed with how velvety the toy’s texture was, and relieved to learn that the vibe is not only made out of medical-grade silicone, but fully rechargeable:

The flexibility of the toy, both in physical material and use, is also very sick. The Petit Eiffel becomes bendier towards the tip and firmer towards the base, and what that means for your clitoris is: direct yet sensitive stimulation, kind of like when a partner just rubs the tip of their penis on your clit when you’re edging.

When I’m not using the toy as a clitoral vibrator, I’ve also enjoyed it as a massager for the knots in my neck that come from hovering over the computer all day. Hell, this baby even fits into my Canal Street Dior Saddle Bag for on-the-go, discreet sex toy fun:

The vibrator is nearly five inches long, which makes it great for taking on the go, but I would also love to see a seven-incher in the brand’s future, as well as the feature of having the tip light up just like the real Eiffel Tower. 

Everything about Frenchie’s Eiffel Tower-inspired clitoral vibrator is easy, without ever feeling cheap and tacky; the clean-up, the use, the ability to fit in my purse before hitting the horny streets of Bushwick in the spring. As a clitoral vibrator, it provides direct yet sensitive stimulation to my vulva in a way that I think both new and seasoned sex toy users could appreciate; and an objet d’art, it has to be my favorite iteration of Paris’ monument to date.  

Purchase the Petit Eiffel vibrator at Frenchie.

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