Things People With Big Boobs Want You To Know

As a woman growing up in India, I can personally testify: Having boobs is no fun. Ever since I was young, I was constantly made aware of my mounds either in the form of unsolicited advice by adults who somehow believe the world will benefit from their suggestions (it doesn’t), or the omnipresent – and violating – male gaze. In a country that has little to no regard for the safety of women, being an owner of tits is not just tough, but often, also tormenting. 

Let’s look at a brief history of breasts in India, for starters. The female body, in all its nude glory, has been the subject of art for centuries. Historians have documented how women in ancient India mostly let them loose as long as the country was untouched by Western conservatism. Yet, over time, in this somewhat modern-day society ravaged by patriarchy and institutional misogyny, boobs have become an object of voyeurism and controversy. This is a world where women are deemed revolutionary just for loving their own breasts. 

So what happens when you’re born with large breasts in a society that fluctuates between policing women’s bodies and oversexualising them? VICE asked some women what it’s like to be big-breasted in India. For obvious reasons, such as being flooded by creepy social media DMs, most of these women requested anonymity while recounting their stories. 

Two incidents made me aware of my breasts. The first was when I was in school, running up the staircase to get to class with a bunch of friends. The principal saw us, stopped us and particularly chastised me. She said I was jiggling my breasts for everyone to notice. Then this other time, my parents and I were about to board a crowded train when a group of men pushed us out and I was separated from my parents for about 30 seconds.

My immediate response to these events – coupled with constant comments from everyone, from strangers to partners to relatives and even friends – was shame. At first, I hid my breasts under loose clothing. And when I was with partners, the expectation was to sexualize them. Enter underwire bras, which turned out to be an instrument of torture. I was told that because my breasts are big, they need extra help to stay perky. I still have marks from those underwire bras that I would force myself to wear. I was so terrified of my breasts sagging. 

Today, though, I love my breasts. I let them breathe. I take care of them. I’ve finally understood that my breasts are mine. They are a part of me. They don't define me. And of course, no one – absolutely no one – has the right to dictate any terms on how I should deal with them. My breasts are healing today. No bloody underwire. No tight-fitted dresses. I had one corset. I gave it away. Sagging, drooping, ageing – my breasts are having the time of their life! – Matongini*, 37, Dhanbad

My breasts started developing when I was 9. I was a tomboy, so climbing trees, playing football and getting into random fights was second nature to me. When I was 10, I got into a scuffle with a boy and he shoved my chest. It hurt like hell and his immediate reaction was “What was that?” Neither of us had realised until then that I had breasts. I ran to the washroom and cried out of pain and embarrassment. 

My relationship with bras was fraught, too. My mother got me a training bra and it was, by far, the most uncomfortable thing I’d ever put on. It became impossible to find a good bra. I spent a good part of my early twenties wearing two bras. It was also hard to work out because my breast size gave me immense pain on my neck and back.

My friends would joke that my breasts walked in a room 10 seconds before I did. People stared at my chest constantly. The women in my family would comment on where I got the big breast genes from (no one else in my family is that well-endowed). When I started dating, boys would tell me how amazing my boobs were. On the streets, men take liberties to grope me because apparently having big breasts is an invitation to be groped. 

Today, I have a love/hate relationship with my breasts. I discovered good, supportive lingerie over time, and embraced body positivity. But there are days when I envy women who can wear a bralette as a top, or a strapless dress without a bra. Breast reduction, even a mastectomy, has crossed my mind because big breasts are that uncomfortable. – Kritika, 32, Dehradun

I was a pretty skinny, sickly child until I woke up one day and couldn’t see my feet. A lot of women in my family, including my grandmother, are large-breasted so I knew it was coming for me, too. But it shocked me anyway.

This groping incident became a big deal even though we cut off all ties with this person. It happened in a room full of people and I didn’t understand what happened. I had to wriggle out of this person’s embrace and get out of that room. It only hit me later, especially after I confided in my sister, that the incident traumatised me. 

Over the years, I’ve experienced many forms of assault, like getting groped and grabbed, which a lot of women in India go through. Physically, I’m a fairly small, petite person so my breasts have given me a lot of back pain. Finding clothes is a big challenge, too. Buying bikinis and bras is a nightmare. Even if I find the right ones, they’re freaking expensive. 

Over the years, though, while I have developed body image issues, I’ve become very proud of my breasts. It’s a part of my body bequeathed to me by my ancestors, and I wouldn't change it. I’d never consider a reduction. I’m a voluptuous Bengali woman, and we’re known for this body type. I just want to be left alone with it. – Baishali, 34, Kolkata

I was always a chubby kid growing up, but when I was almost a teenager, I started developing breasts. Initially, I loved it. I felt like a grown-up, so feminine, and I loved going bra shopping, too. But I started growing out of my bras very fast. My relationship with my breasts also kept pace with their dimensions. That’s when I noticed people noticing my boobs, all the time. 

Recently, I complimented a guy’s curly hair on Bumble, but I got a, “Thanks, you have a really nice bust.” Then this other time, again on a dating app, we had just started exchanging pleasantries when this guy referred to a wonderful photo of me and my pet dog Chester during a trek in Uttarakhand, and said, “Hey, you have a really nice bust in that photo.” I am very attached to that photo but this man managed to corrupt a precious memory. 

Over the last two years, I’ve also been impacted by fluctuating weight because of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which means I’m still outgrowing my bra size. PCOS also affects my relationship with my breasts. My boobs don’t look like they do in porn. What also pains me is when I have to stop myself from buying clothes that would make the whole conversation about my boobs. – Shreya*, 23, Delhi

I was 11 when my breasts started developing. It didn't take too long for them to take full form and shape. I had big breasts compared to the other girls in my class and had to wear a sports bra while others my age weren't wearing anything extra around their chest. 

Growing up, I was ashamed of my big breasts. I hated how they bounced when I played football with the boys in my neighbourhood. All my girlfriends seemed petite and lean, and they could wear the cutest tight-fitting top. Before going to play everyday, I remember wearing 3–4 tight layers of clothing around my chest to “flatten” the area. On top of that, I’d wear my elder brother’s baggy T-shirts. This went on for a few months until my mother confronted me. When I told her the reason, she smiled and lovingly told me that it’s normal for breasts to bounce when running and that I was doing far worse to my body by trying to conceal something that was so natural and beautiful.

I have never felt sexier and more confident than I do now, with my fully developed body. I absolutely love the size, shape (and bounce!) of my breasts and I often pamper myself with some cute lingerie. I believe that all breasts, and even the lack thereof, are beautiful, natural, breathtaking, important, and all things wonderful! My breasts are not small and humble, and I absolutely don’t mind if you confuse them with mountains! – Dielle, 25, Pune

​​I've always had bigger boobs than my friends, but apart from being annoyed that I couldn't do some exercises like push-ups, and finding it tough to get clothes or bras that fit well, I didn't have many complaints. My mom has always been a champion of embracing what we've been given and I felt empowered by Sita and Gita, as I fondly call my twin peaks.

However, when I gave birth to my first child three years back, I remember being petrified about choking him under my boob. It took us a while to figure it out but before that, I'd worry that his little nose was getting squished. It was tough to see his mouth fully and I would watch him feed in a mirror opposite my bed.

I always felt women should breastfeed in public but when it came to me, I'd be so conscious about doing it. It took me almost six months to figure it out with the help of nursing bras, pillows and techniques to support my breasts, but it's the only time in life I've desperately wished for smaller boobs. – Shikha, 34, Mumbai

I started wearing a 28B bra when I was 13. I was always more physically developed than my peers. I really loved [my breasts]. Most girls my age were still developing and there was always a curiosity that surrounded my twins. I remember when I was 12, a senior at school asked me if I had gotten my period that summer, since my bosom looked fuller. My breasts were always a subject of discussion in my family, and everyone said that I looked more “mature” than my friends, or how I needed to be more careful about my T-shirts, or how I shouldn't skip rope in front of my friends. 

Today, I absolutely love my breasts. I find them gorgeous and full. This, despite the backaches, and the fact that I'll never be the slim, petite girl in a gathering or can’t sleep on my stomach at night. – Anamika, 34, Gurgaon

*Names changed to protect the privacy of individuals. 

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