Someone had to do it. Someone had to go: Rishi Sunak, the person who runs the country has come out on record saying that from Sunday evening to Tuesday morning, he fasts, and therefore, I should try it. That person, for VICE, is me. Like all things emerging health, the evidence of pros and cons of fasting are varied. Some people do it for religious reasons, obviously, but there are claims it may help inflammation and brain function, and even lower your risk of heart disease. Many of the reported claims, though, are long-term, and there are definitely more immediate side effects: poor concentration, low energy, sleep issues and bad breath among them. None of which sound ideal for running the country.
Advertisement
Of course, when you’re doing big boi things like governing a declining superpower, decisions generally aren’t made in a day. But there are a few key moments of the unelected Rishi Sunak’s political career that – assuming he has been on the diet the entire time – did happen on an empty stomach. These include the time he claimed China was “stealing our technology”; when he said “I know that Brexit can deliver, and is already delivering” (misleading!); and that time he brought David Cameron back from the dead and into politics via the backdoor of a lordship. It follows that someone had to figure out whether his variant on a 5:2 diet could be the reason the country has its worst performing economy since the 1920s, right? Here's how it went.
I started after an “indulgent weekend”, just like Sunak. Except my weekend was a wedding and a birthday pub crawl. I stopped eating at 8PM, but I made extra sure that my food was indulgent enough in the 24 hours previous: a macaroni pie and a half, a Muller corner, a Scotch pie, a bridie (a Scottish beef pasty) and two M&S salads, because I figured some nutrients might help me feel less hungry. When I woke up a bit late for work, I realised I didn’t need to worry about breakfast. This made me on time. I decided to wear a suit because I assume he wears a suit at his home, 10 Downing Street. I figured I’d either be warmer and would therefore sweat more and be more hungry, or that the heat would reduce my appetite, or the suit itself would feel all business and affirming and therefore help my discipline.
Advertisement
Suited, not booted, I had a black decaf coffee and a pint of water. Sunak drinks black coffee and tea throughout his no-eating day. Research makes out that both are a mild appetite suppressant, though not effective enough to be used as an appetite suppressing treatment. I walked past my food cupboard and felt the instinct to open it and start making something to eat. Then I stopped and felt my stomach contract a little. Not hungry, but confused – like a dog not getting a treat. There’s six hours of the working day to go – plenty of time to get things done.I’ve had three decaf coffees, two litres of sparkling water, and five pints of still water. Up until this point, I had a pretty productive day, but I was still behind on work. I pushed on, smashed the work out and got it done. Was it good? I don’t know. Do I care? Well yes, but it’s done, and it’s 6.05PM. It all feels a bit like when you are up late trying to get something over the line and the delirium kicks in and you come out the other side with something done but you don’t really know what or how or why. By the end of the day, I’ve had four decafs. I don’t know how many Sunak has, but I feel like four actual coffees would be a lot for the bloodstream on an empty stomach. The jitters, I bet, are hitting. I don’t think decisions that affect a country should occur in this state. I don’t think I’d safely operate a car in this state. Perhaps that’s why he’s got a driver.
12.06PM
3.30PM
Advertisement
7PM
8PM
9.00PM
Advertisement
11PM
11AM
Advertisement
7PM
- My prime minister would be drinking Pot Noodles and shovelling biscuits into the early hours. I want an athlete of the mind going fucking ham at getting the country to be better, all the time
- Wanna destress? Maybe have a cig. Maybe just do that
- It is sort of like a natural Ozempic, the idea of wanting food and brain reward for eating food feels gone. Food is an outlet of pleasure and a vice that feels repressed here, and there’s something beyond body standards and how we want to look in all of this for the tech bros and prime minister