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You’re not like most couples on Valentine’s Day [uncorks Shrek butt plug], which isn’t to say you don’t dig a classic couple’s vacation activity, but we think you can do better than the old beachside massage package/wine tasting/hot air balloon venture (does anyone actually do that outside of Santa Fe or The Bachelor?? Let us know). In fact, you know what? For your next couple’s vacation, leave the massages to us whilst you and your hunny explore more intriguing pastures; if you must do the spa thing, why not get tenderized by oak leaves together at a Russian and Turkish bathhouse? Feel like branching out even more? Take a pilgrimage to the best kitsch roadside hotels or sign up for a guided nudist hike. We really do live in the golden era of Airbnb experiences, and the world is your weird, briny oyster for the slurping before tantric sex. Maybe you’re looking to skip town with your new situationship for a bit, or trying to add some spice to the stew of your five-year-strong relationship this Valentine’s Day; maybe you need a cozy spot for two, or four, or you and six long Furbies. Whatever your reason for getting out of Dodge, we’ve found a bunch of non-traditional vacations and rentals for y’all to dip into a sudsy and swimmable Champagne glass, bone in a grotto, or make out in a veritable Bio-Dome in Joshua Tree.… Maybe you even binged Mike White’s award-winning season with your fellow married friends (how brave of you), and you want to put everyone’s partnerships to the test check out Italy for yourselves. So here’s an idea: Instigate your own toxic love squares in Taormina, Siciliy, in the same village where Christopher Moltisanti Dominic Di Grasso gets chewed out by his distant-distant cousins in the series. The whimsical estate is smack in the middle of the countryside, and just a fifteen-minute drive from the Spiaggia di Isola Bella and Spiaggia di Mazzeo beaches. Plus, it sleeps up to ten guests (very orgy-friendly).The Libretto; sleeps up to 10, $1,238 at Plum GuideThis apartment in Palermo, Italy looks like the brainchild of Serge Gainsbourg and a well-read, brooding Italian widower. It was designed by the artist and designer Giuseppe Amato in the iconic Politeama Libertà district, which is at the heart of Palermo, and it’s complete with an elevator and three bedrooms—to say nothing of the bedframes, which will give you the ability to have sex in cursive.Liberty Library; sleeps up to 6, $194/night at AirbnbDon’t have time to go all the way to Italy? Try heading to Santa Barbara, California, a.k.a. the “American Riviera.” The city is beloved for its Mediterranean climate, pristine beaches, and great wine, and this home overlooks all of the downtown area. Grill something tender on the outdoor BBQ, and settle in for a night making out on the (linen!!) bedding.Riviera Studio; sleeps up to 2, $314/night at AirbnbThe houseboats of Sausalito, California have a long history as one of the more unique bohemian communities in the state; they were even featured in an Agnès Varda’s documentary on the area, and continue to entice travelers with their Waterworld-romantic feel. This floating guest cottage is the last boat of its kind on the northward leg of the dock, and has beautiful views of Mount Tamalpais. Floating Guest Cottage; sleeps up to 4, $256/night at Airbnb[Chortles in Huldufólk.] Honestly, heading to Reykjavík for a long-weekend jaunt if you live on the East Coast isn’t that crazy or (comparatively) expensive if you want to feel like you’re on another planet; you can easily get a round-trip flight, which is way cheaper than visiting space with Virgin Galactic. We also have an entire guide of what to do in Iceland, from staying at the best Airbnbs, like this Reykjavik cabin sitting right under the Northern Lights…… to attending the Elf School, which is a real thing that exists. Sign your partner and yourself up for a crash course, and learn about the importance of elf folklore and influence on Icelandic culture. “It felt more like a casual evening with grandpa than just a tour,” writes one diploma-holder; “[the] teacher Magnus […] made the class such a wonderful experience,” writes another, “Totally recommend this for anyone travelling to Iceland.”Learn more about Elf School on TripadvisorRemember that Dean Martin song? This converted bunker is in Roswell, New Mexico, so you might just see some little green dudes when you wind down into its 186-foot deep nethers for a romantic evening with your history buff/aspiring war criminal lover. There’s also a tour of the old Launch Control Center included. Cold War Bunker; sleeps up to 2, $499/night at AirbnbWe know, we know—y’all aren’t big on Valentine’s Day because you’re too cool for corporate holidays, but that doesn’t mean you can’t seize the opportunity to rent out a converted goth silo and watch The Witch (one of your first date movies) again. The moody abode is situated on over a hundred acres in Litchfield, Connecticut, and is just a little over two hours from Manhattan by car. Plus, the primary restroom has an extra large soaking tub.Silo House; sleeps up to 4, $599/night at AirbnbContemporary medieval aesthetics are so hot right now, and few places on this bulbous Earth have the ye old clout of Paris, France. This luxury apartment is situated in the city’s Left Bank, and built on the only remaining wall of the 13th century Saint Germain-des-Prés Abbey. You’ll be nearby the Luxembourg Gardens, the Café de Flore—all the rive gauche classics.The Abbey House; sleeps up to 6, $2,657/night at Plum GuideIf you’re lover is a fan of Ricardo Bofill’s converted 1973 factory home in Spain, they’ll fall bum over noggin for this Brutalist oasis in Oaxaca, Mexico. It’s nestled amongst some lush greenery, has air conditioning, and it’s pet-friendly. Come for a week (and stay for the month).Bright Oaxacan Loft; sleeps up to 2, $52/night at AirbnbWhy don’t you bring your WaterSlyde to this water slide oasis in the desert by Yucca Valley, California? The Joshua Tree-adjacent home has ample makeout spots in its pool—including a hot tub hidden behind a cave—and a large outdoor stage with a projector for watching Wild at Heart.Hidden Yucca Valley Paradise; sleeps up to 8, $439/night at AirbnbIn the words of Rec Room editor Hilary Pollack, “Glamping is a stupid word, but a great idea.” This private camp ground by Joshua Tree can welcome up to eight of your lovers/besties, and it’s complete with a pool table, private backyard, hot tob, and heating and air conditioning.Desert Escape; sleeps up to 8, $237/night at AirbnbIf you’re trying to get out of town (and over the sea and away from society altogether), this little stone cottage in Greece will do the trick. Plus, if you’re into the whole “body of water overlooking significantly bigger body of water” thing, you’ll love the pool here.Mystic Mirage, sleeps 2, $339 at Plum GuideLast year, Airbnb dropped a world-spanning list of getaways that feel like they’re in Wes Anderson films. This cabin in Norway also comes with [checks notes] a 10,000-square-foot island. Precious indie soundtrack not included.Private Island in Sunny Hvaler, sleeps 8, $235 at AirbnbPeople love to talk about the wine of California, but Oregon has a ton of great wineries, as well. This place has absolutely nothing to do with wine, but we predict the selection at the wine shop you’ll hit before heading out into the middle of nowhere to this cabin next to the Columbia River will be awesome. Plus, getting drunk might help you figure out how to pass the time.Hummingbird Garden, sleeps 6, $414 at Plum GuideNo, Caribbean villas with this kind of view are not only for spies, tech geniuses, and Brad Pitt. You, too, can rent this whole home in St. Lucia—and for a pretty decent price.Gorgeous Oceanfront Villa With Pool and Concierge, sleeps 8, $875 at AirbnbOK, picture this: You’re in Germany, staying in a huge, 800-year-old castle. You’re drinking some kind of unimaginably good local lager. No armies can attack you, due to the strategic location of your castle on a large vineyard on a hill and the forest surrounding it. No, it’s not medieval times—you’re just renting a room in Bad Hönningen.Castle in Bad Hönningen, sleeps 2, $204 at AirbnbHappy romancing, ya freaks.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.
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You’re still thinking about ‘The White Lotus’
Stay at a designer house in Palermo…
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… Or this home on the "American Riviera
All aboard the love boat
Attend elf school together in Iceland
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Hot lovin’ in the Cold War bunker
You’re the spooky A24 couple
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The converted Parisian abbey
A Brutalist retreat in Oaxaca
Your own personal waterpark
Joshua Tree glamping
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Off the grid
A literal private island
This forest retreat
Feel like a spy
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King of the castle
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.