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    This Summer Is Going to Be Just as Hellishly Hot as Last Summer

    Written by

    Brian Merchant

    Senior Editor

    Image: Flickr
    It's going to be another scorcher. And by scorcher, I mean another sweat-drenched bog-fest that'll have your pits going damp the minute you step outside your air conditioned bunker of an apartment. You know, just like last year.
    WeatherBug, a forecasting service owned by Earth Networks, is predicting that the coming summer will be just as hot as last year's, the third-hottest on record. This is bad news for people who enjoy reasonable, pleasant temperatures, for farmers who prefer their livestock not keel over dead, and for fans of the element water. As you'll recall, last summer's relentless heat brought epic droughts, crop yield shortfalls, livestock die-offs, and brutal wildfires. Some regions just recovered from their drought status last month—and now we're gearing up to do it all over again.

    Image: WeatherBug

    According to WeatherBug, New Mexico, Colorado, Arizona, and Utah are staring down a summer that's predicted to be 50 percent hotter than the historic average. The rest of the Southwest will see temperatures 40 percent hotter than average, and most of the Midwest and New England will see 33 percent hotter-than-average temps. A slice of the Pacific Northwest will luck out and stay cooler than average by about the same amount, which is only bound to make the hipsters in Portland even more smug.

    Meanwhile, Greentech Media reports that utilities services are bracing for the hell-heat, and many are planning on rolling out novel programs to encourage businesses and homeowners to reduce demand during peak hours. Hotter temperatures inevitably lead to higher electricity demand—more A/C—and can lead to rolling blackouts when the mercury climbs. In other words, all this excess heat is really screwing everything up for modern society here.

    If only there were some unifying theory that explained this strange phenomenon, wherein each of our summers seem to be increasingly hotter than the last. Alas. It's probably just the wrath of Zeus or sunspots or God setting the stage to direct a reality show about the post-apocalypse.