Of course some girl took out her used tampon and dipped it into her mouth in a YouTube video, and obviously some guy defecated in a cup and swallowed it with some ice cream.
Teenagers used to pretend to do and sometimes do this stuff at parties and sleepovers to gross each other out but now—now they do it on the World Wide Web, because technology and because social media. Because memes. What is the digital world coming to? Have viral videos gone too far? Obviously the Web is making teenagers behave in strange new ways. And where, for crying out loud, are the parents?
You have to admit those are some very good ideas for blog posts. So Giovanna Plowman is everywhere. Questions must be raised after all about this stunning first ever world’s worst behavior.
So here is Giovanna Plowman, allegedly removing a tampon from her nethers, and eating it.
That video went so viral, even though it was taken down from YouTube and it violated user guidelines but that’s what mirror sites are for.
what i did was stupid...but SO WHAT?! i'm famous for that, ill be on ellen, ill get verified, i'm getting money to show up at some parties!!— Giovanna Plowman (@ItsGiovannaP) January 22, 2013
Here is what Giovanna Plowman said about her video on Facebook:
Have you ever watched jackass? Fear factor? Jersey shore? I know you all have. Its okay for them to get famous from eating and doing such stupid stuff or being sluts and partying hard. But i eat a tampon and get so much hate? It makes no sense. Just because im a girl and ate something gross and got famous you hate on me? Im a real nice girl. Dont start drama and i have only ever had one boyfriend? Please tell me how im a slut. Smh idgaf about you haters ill shine on with or with out you!
What have we done, cultivating this culture of virality where even children, children! Hollywood is so far away, but making a YouTube account is so easy now. She is going to be on Tosh 2.0 or maybe the whole thing is made up, some say.
Either way, Dino Bruscia won’t stand for it.
That’s harsh, Dino. Dino is aiming for grossout virality too so at about the same time as Giovanna did the tampon thing, he ate his own feces, maybe.
But people had already seen it on Pink Flamingos and they hadn’t seen the tampon thing before, so Giovanna got famous and Dino didn’t, at first.
But maybe he will now, because after they had a tweetout flamewar they came to an agreement to grow famous together and now they’re married on Facebook.
But wait, that’s another account. That’s a problem now, because everyone hates them both/is so jealous of their Klout that there are fake accounts everywhere and virality-seeking teens in the web 2.0 must fight back.
@hollagiovanna is the real Twitter account, @hollagiovanna says, but she only has 12,000 followers.
@itsgiovanna has like 130,000 meanwhile and two others have been shut down but none of them bear the bright blue check of verification.
It all spirals out of control so fast. And this, indeed, is the brave new world we stand upon the precipice of, we anxious parents and one-day parents. Indeed. Children—children!—are not merely seeking attention amongst their classmates, their siblings, those who dwell amongst their brick-and-mortar communities. No. The whole world is their digital amphitheater now, and there are no nosebleeds, even an old man in the Ukraine can sit front row and watch this new frontier of teenage madness. Everything is connected, the world is flat, teenage depravity and moral decay, web 2.0, and most of all, where are the parents?