By Eric Moneypenny
On March 15, 2012, I signed up for an account with Kickstarter. My dream was simple. I wanted to start a Kickstarter to buy Kickstarter.
I assumed starting a Kickstarter would be easy. After all, Colin Hanks Kickstarted a documentary, apparently after his dad Tom wouldn’t pay for it. Somebody Kickstarted a statue for RoboCop. There was a Kickstarter to put floatable art pieces in the ocean, even though you can float things in the ocean for free.
If I owned Kickstarter, I would’ve assured all these folks with necessary, not-silly ideas would continue to get the funding from you that they deserve.
What would’ve been better than the biggest Kickstarter of all-time? A Kickstarter to raise $19 million, almost 6 times bigger than the richest Kickstarter ever ($3.3 million).
The only problem is, Kickstarter won’t let me Kickstart my Kickstarter to buy Kickstarter.
After I submitted my project, they immediately rejected it. Good thing Kickstarter lets you appeal these bad decisions. After a couple more days, they rejected my appeal. They told me my dream is dead, which means we can’t even kickstart its heart.
Kickstarter said they don’t do “fund my life” projects. I’m not trying to fund my life. I’m trying to follow a dream. They fund the lives and dreams of directors, actors, actresses, musicians, comedians, etc. Some are good, but some are awful. Either way, they all have dreams, just like me. Does Kickstarter now consider itself the judge of dreams?
It’s not like there was nothing in this for them. Kickstarter makes a profit off of every successful Kickstarter, so Kickstarter would’ve even made extra money from my purchase of Kickstarter.
Kickstarter, and various news outlets think I’m some comedian trying to pull a stunt or a prank. Listen, there are Eric Moneypennys all over the world. Yes, one of those Eric Moneypennys happens to be a comedian in Los Angeles, CA who writes and performs for “The Midnight Show,” a sketch comedy group who just sold a TV show to a cable network, is recording a comedy album, and will be touring comedy clubs and theaters all over America this summer.
But the chances of that Eric Moneypenny and this Eric Moneypenny being the same guy are rather slim. Moneypenny is a pretty common name. I have around 800 Facebook friends, and at least 30 of them are named Moneypenny.
This whole thing isn’t fair. That Eric Moneypenny got a bunch of articles written about him in Gizmodo, BetaBeat, CBC.ca, and all over the web. Kickstarter got a bunch of free publicity. And here I am. Still some guy who wants to buy Kickstarter, but Kickstarter won’t let me Kickstart a Kickstarter to buy Kickstarter. Maybe I’ll buy Kickstarter through Indiegogo.
Eric Moneypenny is not a comedian, and this wasn’t a publicity stunt. You cannot see The Midnight Show perform at UCB Theatre in Los Angeles, nor on YouTube.