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    Every State of the Union Has Been Exactly the Same

    Written by

    Derek Mead


    In the corporate world, this is what might be called synergy. For the leaders of the free world, however, reciting the same blathering shit sandwich responses—

    Good: America rules! I'll be your President tonight.
    Shit: Right now totally sucks, and people want to kill us.
    Good: But we're America, and we can fix it!

    —year after year during the State of the Union is kind of uninspired. In fact, the State of the Union address President Obama is slated to give at 9 PM EST tonight is so predictable, as with every one before it, that the illustrious URL drinkinggame.us is dedicated to rules on how to properly get blackfaded to every one of the SOTU talking points, rather than some other, more awesome purpose.

    Which brings us to this awesome mix by Jason Aldag at the Washington Post. It's almost stunning how repetitive the speeches are; it actually is stunning that we still obsess over it. You see, America is a proud country. Sure, it's crumbling, but as we'll hear, all we need to do is fix the schools, roads, fund science, solve climate change, protect our military interests, keep defending basic civil rights, something something about healthcare, support the troops, and cut the budget, all while continuing to argue over Roe v. Wade and other stuff that's suddenly being rehashed. But hey, we're still #1! See? Shit sandwich.